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Post by ChyukiPastukiSuzuki on Jan 20, 2008 11:46:51 GMT -5
Yuki got shot. xD I guess the campfire stories did come in handy, eh? I think I cried a little during that chapter. When Simon got shot.
I can't wait till Chaptaaa 4.
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Post by kndlover7 on Jan 20, 2008 13:45:31 GMT -5
Aww, and I think you mean five. XD
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Post by kndlover7 on Jan 20, 2008 17:53:35 GMT -5
Excuse teh double post:
======= Chapter 5 =======
“What’s taking them so long?!” Rika cried out in frustration as she rose from the hard plastic chair attached to the waiting room floor and began pacing back and forth, her hands together behind her back. They’d been waiting for what felt like an eternity for the doctors to let them see their friends, so they feared the worst. Theodore was taking it better than they expected; he had long since stopped crying but was now curled up on his side on one of the chairs. It looked incredibly uncomfortable, but he refused to move. Alvin sat beside his brother, holding his hand and watching Rika worriedly.
“Rika, I’m sure everything’s fine.” Alvin said reassuringly. “They probably just dropped an empty syringe and won’t let anyone in until they find it!” he suggested, a small smirk creeping onto his features. He had to lighten the mood somehow, right?
Rika wasn’t amused, however, and shot him a warning glance before sitting down again. She found it difficult to sit still, but just as difficult to keep moving. She couldn’t find any way to ease her mind, and it was really irritating her.
A familiar looking female doctor with sleek brown hair pulled into a tight bun at the back of her head walked into the waiting room. The same one the three distressed chipmunks had spoken with earlier upon entry. Rika stood sharply again, her gaze fixed on the woman’s stoic expression. She came to a halt in front of the chipmunks and said simply “You may see them now.”
The woman led them to a large room, in which there was about seven patients, no one except maybe the doctor would have bothered to stop and count. They were led to Simon’s bed, and once they reached it they were almost too scared to look. There was very little to look at, Simon’s chest was covered in bandages, an oxygen mask was fixed to his face and various thin tubes had been inserted into various places on his arms and other areas of his body. Over three different machines were also connected to him, most of them bleeping, other making equally strange noises.
“Yukino is in the room next to this one. You can see Rosalind when she is finished with in surgery and moved to the Intensive Care Unit, that’s here.” the doctor said in a business-like tone. “I’ll leave you alone, I’m only over there if you need me.” She said in a quieter, slightly more relaxed tone, pointing at the other side of the room. As she moved swiftly across the room, Alvin led Theodore to the edge of the bed, holding his hand reassuringly.
Rika hovered in the doorway, feeling that she should leave the family members to “talk” to him first, fidgeting with her green cap which she had removed as she entered the room.
Alvin glanced up briefly at Rika before turning his head to look at his brother. His glasses were nowhere to be seen, so he presumed one of the ambulance crew had picked them up and would hopefully return them. He thought Simon looked so strange, nothing like Simon at all, without his glasses and with the clear, plastic mask covering most of his face.
“I-I’ll leave you three alone.” Rika said softly, “I-I should probably go see Yuki anyway.” Before either of the chipmunk brothers could so much as draw breath to reply, Rika had turned on her heel and left the room. Walking a few paces down the corridor, she stopped outside the door which led to Yuki’s room, grasped the handle, took a deep breath and went inside.
Yuki was sat up in bed, fidgeting with the sheets, bandages criss-crossing over her shoulder. She also had tubes inserted into her arms. One nervous doctor was in the corner writing something down, but Rika wasn’t going to let him hold her back.
“Yuki!” Rika squealed, almost running to the bed but holding back a hug which she longed to give to her injured friend. “H-How’s the shoulder?” she asked tentatively, rubbing her elbow nervously.
“Painful.” Yuki said with no trace of emotion in her voice. “Well, it would be if they hadn’t given me painkillers. The useless things, they’ll wear off eventually and then I’ll be in a bad mood.” The chickmunk was completely and utterly infuriated by the day’s events, and all she wanted was for the day to end. Or for her to wake up from the crazy dream she was trapped in.
“Oh.” Rika mumbled, looking down and placing her cap back onto her head. “D-Do you have any idea how Roz is? The doctor said she’s in surgery.”
“Most likely fine,” Yuki replied, “They’re just removing the bullets, and will probably stitch up her face real quick while they’re at it, no big deal.” she explained. “You know how resilient Roz is, it’ll barely faze her.”
As if on cue, next door in the ICU the double doors burst open and a bed was wheeled in, Roz’s unconscious body upon it. Alvin and Theodore didn’t even look up; they were both concentrating so hard on Simon. Alvin was holding the lifeless chipmunk’s hand with one of his own, his other arm was wrapped around Theodore’s shuddering shoulders.
“A-Alvin?” Theodore broke the silence reluctantly; looking up at his older brother’s stiffened face.
“Yeah?” Alvin replied, glancing down at his little brother.
“Is Simon going to d-die?” he asked, and immediately looked down and wished he’d never asked.
“Of course not!” Alvin practically yelled. “What gave you that idea?!”
Theodore squeaked and leaned away from his brother, “S-sorry.” He barely whispered, his eyes squeezed closed out of fear.
Alvin realised what he had said, and especially how he had said it, and regretted it. “Sorry, Theodore, but we can’t dwell on the negative. Simon isn’t gonna die, the doctors aren’t gonna let that happen. If they do, I’ll … I’ll…” Alvin broke off, unsure what to say next.
There was silence again for a few minutes which seemed to stretch on for hours, until the doors burst open yet again and Dave trudged in. Had Roz been awake and thinking straight, she probably would have made a passing comment regarding the doors, their lack of stability, and her hatred for the swinging obstacles.
“Boys!” Dave exclaimed in an exasperated tone as he rushed to their side and enveloped them in a bear hug. “I came as soon as I heard, what happened?” He had barely glanced at Simon, he wanted an idea of what to expect in case looking straight at him caused him to break down, which wouldn’t help Alvin and Theodore stay strong, like Dave knew he had to.
Alvin and Theodore just looked at each other, unsure what to say. Then without warning they both started talking at once, neither could be understood at all. Dave just sighed. “Okay, hush now, we’ll talk about it later,” he said softly, “How long have you two been here?”
The pair shrugged. They didn’t care how long they’d been here, but they felt like if they left then Simon’s chances of surviving would dwindle to nothing.
Back in Yuki’s room, Rika and Yuki had managed to find a conversation topic they both agreed on and were interested in: the quiet doctor’s son, who had come in earlier to talk to his father and only just left.
“Did you see his notebook?!” Rika grinned, “His handwriting is love.”
“Oh please, you can’t start a relationship over someone’s penmanship!” Yuki sighed, although her lips had curved into a shy smile.
“Still, we’re both a little tied up at the moment, hmm?” Rika pointed out. “Bet Roz would like him, though.”
“Doesn’t Liam like her, though?” Yuki asked, co cking her head to one side. “I’m pretty sure she doesn’t return the feelings, but if she knew I doubt she’d randomly go off and date another guy under his nose.”
“Roz just doesn’t date, though,” Rika added, “Has she ever dated? I don’t think she has-”
“Well, no one’s going to date her for a while if her face is as bodged up as you said it was,” Yuki interrupted, “And even though you exaggerate a lot, I believe ya.”
Rika nodded solemnly as Yuki finished speaking. “I bet that bloody skid mark’s still there, boy it looked painful.”
“Let’s hope she gets out of surgery and wakes up soon,” Yuki said quietly. “The sooner that happens, the sooner she’ll hopefully get moved in here. Then at least there'll always be someone for me to talk to.”
============ End of Chapter 5 ============
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Post by wallysgirl on Jan 20, 2008 20:32:34 GMT -5
Aw....I liked the comforting moments between the chipmunks & chickmunks. Poor Dave though, I know he's feeling heartbroken, as is everyone else.
Nice chappie!
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Post by kndlover7 on Jan 20, 2008 20:34:10 GMT -5
^^ I am also looking for criticism, remember. XD
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Post by wallysgirl on Jan 20, 2008 20:38:36 GMT -5
*giggles* Okay...um, maybe more description of the handsome doctor Rika & Yuki kinda fawn over? *shrugs* I honestly like it as is though. *nods*
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Post by kndlover7 on Jan 20, 2008 20:48:39 GMT -5
I probably didn't make it clear enough, but it was the doctor's son. XD
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Post by wallysgirl on Jan 20, 2008 21:18:37 GMT -5
I probably didn't make it clear enough, but it was the doctor's son. XD I meant: was he of tall, short, or medium build. Did he look like he was in his late teens or early twenties. Eye color, hair color, glasses or contacts. What kind of outfit did he wear. Had he made any kind of eye contact with the girls while speaking to his father? Did he have a dreamy smooth voice? Description of that nature. But you don't have to describe him if you don't want to. It's your story and only you, as the author, can decide how important you want the description of the characters to be, whether they're main characters, lesser characters, or just extras in the story. Honestly, the chapter is fine as is. I <3 it.
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Post by ChyukiPastukiSuzuki on Jan 22, 2008 22:59:18 GMT -5
I enjoyed it. For some reason I can see Yuki tugging at the tubes in her arms, in an attempt to get out of the hospital. Poor Simon. He needs a hug. xD
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Post by kndlover7 on Jul 15, 2008 18:18:54 GMT -5
Yeah, see, I was thinking of that, but at the moment she's just all "oh screw the world and they're hospitals, mhm I'm just gonna go back to sleep now kay zzz."
Decided I will continue this one, and possibly remake a couple of the earlier chapters. I'm probably going to completely change the plot, though, might have it revolve more around Roz or something, I don't know yet. I'm always opne for ideas! ^^
Edit: Just had an idea for either the next chapter or the one after, a little while after we see Roz anyway.
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Post by wallysgirl on Jul 15, 2008 22:36:00 GMT -5
== Excited! ^^ Thanks for the updated info Rozzie ^^
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