Post by CCACorn26 on Apr 9, 2008 16:55:27 GMT -5
I'm glad that you found the concluding scene of "Dates among Disturbances" suspenseful, Wallysgirl. Now, if "Nightmares... or Premonitions of Chaos?" weren't dramatic enough, my fanfiction timeline really starts kicking into high gear.:
“Smokescreens, Dogs, and Rainbows”
Chapter 1: “Investigations”
The jet-haired boy sat at his desk in his office on the Kids Next Door Arctic Training Base, rubbing his chin contemplatively while his eyes steadily scanned the information displayed on his computer. His job necessarily required him to project a humorless aura around him, but at this moment, he was even sterner in his demeanor, perhaps naturally so given that information’s brutal background within his recollections of recent events. Three months ago, Numbuh 86 had contacted him from the Kids Next Door Moonbase, informing him of an unthinkable attack in New York City. Almost 3,000 men, women, and children -- including two of the KND’s best spies -- were mass-murdered when two airplanes crashed intentionally into North America’s tallest twin skyscrapers, demolishing them. In response, 86 explained, Numbuh 362 was ordering all Kids Next Door bases on Earth to go on special standby in case any of their sworn enemies tried to... take advantage of all the mayhem that resulted as she called Sector V to her office to inform them of this attack at the eastern end of their jurisdiction. Meanwhile, the KND Global Tactical Officer was just wrapping up a review of Global Command’s weapons arrays, and now, she wanted to learn about his facility’s weapons systems. The Cadets Next Door responded that all weapons on the Arctic Training Base were fully operational. What struck him about Numbuh 86, a.k.a. Francine “Fanny” Fulbright, as she explained the situation was that she didn’t try to raise her voice to him even once. She must have been understandably shocked that such a cowardly and dishonorable strike had occurred. Whoever these new villains were, they had to have meant business.
The Kids Next Door’s drill sergeant didn’t know the half of it. Two days later, a man who identified himself as Khalid Tariq Saif, the global leader of some organization called the "Base of Jihad," appeared and claimed responsibility for that double airplane massacre, praising the thugs who’d perpetrated it and then promising attacks even worse than this one as part of the “Sacred Struggle” to completely annihilate the United States of America and its closest allies. The vision that this apparent and practical madman wanted to impose -- which he described as the “Great Sharia” -- was enough to make Grandfather, long considered the World’s Most Ultimate Evil, look nice: children jailed for flying kites or playing tag; people of other ages suffering the same fate for owning a television, listening to music, or searching for lost pets; rocks thrown at men if their beards weren’t the proper color; girls and women forbidden from any interaction in school. The boy would learn in the following weeks -- as reported intermittently by Kids Next Door News Network and confirmed by 362 as well as Numbuh One, the leader of Sector V -- that the BJ had received financing and training for the aptly-titled “Great New York City Airplane Massacre” from an even more malicious and dangerous organization that called itself the “Guardians of the Islamic Revolution,” which had as its official goal a one-world utopia led by the “Hidden Imam.” Iranian President Ali Muhammad Teherani, who himself was one of these Guardians even now, had personally authorized their assistance of that strike in New York City and was right at this second about to deliver a speech before the United Global Assembly there, a speech that Numbuhs One and 362, known respectively as Nigel Uno and Rachel McKenzie and now considered the most prominent and “commanding” couple in the Kids Next Door, indicated they would be watching in the rec room near the Supreme Leader’s office. Any further details about Teherani and Saif’s hopelessly tyrannical vision Patton Drilovsky, a.k.a. Numbuh 60, considered redundant. As Patton now rested his chin on the back of his fingers and his left elbow on his desk, one fact was stark to him: these comprehensively despicable villains were many things, but human was absolutely, egregiously, irrevocably, obviously, and ubiquitously NOT one of them.
“Yeeeeeeeesh… how any adult can be this twisted, this vicious, this evil is WAY beyond me…” Patton muttered to himself in open contempt while maneuvering the mouse to access some new commands and files. “At least our previous enemies just wanted to challenge kids’ ability to have fun and be kids.” One last sigh of frustration escaped his mouth. “I sincerely hope the deity that these ‘Sacred Strugglers’” -- his voice dripped sarcasm, fury, and alarm at the last two words -- “seem to revere has mercy on them if they lay so much as a finger on Numbuh 86... BECAUSE I DEFINITELY WON’T!!!!!!!!”
At the last word he roared, his left fist slammed onto the desk, shaking it and the computer keyboard just inches in front of him, and stayed there for all of about three seconds before flattening into a hand in resignation. Being the drill sergeant for the Kids Next Door and de facto commander of the Arctic Base, Patton never developed an interest in romantic relationships, but several past interactions with Fanny were leading him to rethink, if just a bit, that interest. Five steady yet abrupt knocks on the door interrupted Patton’s thought process one minute later, silencing that romantic interest for the moment.
“Come in,” Patton deadpanned loudly, his eyes still focused on his computer.
The door opened… and in stepped the one girl Patton least expected to see at that immediate moment. Her expression might have been more businesslike than his, perhaps admirably so, given her usual job on the Moonbase. Patton shifted his face to meet hers… and did a slight double take.
“Oh!!” Patton interjected with some surprise before standing up and saluting. “Hello, Numbuh 86, ma’am. What brings you down here to Antarctica?” This base’s presence at the South Pole was ironic because its name would have suggested that it was located at the North Pole.
“At ease, Numbuh 60,” Fanny returned before gesturing to him to sit back down and taking the nearby chair to sit down herself. “As for yer question… the Moonbase was gettin’ a bit dull, so I figured I might as well stop by here for a short visit.”
Patton nodded perceptively. “I get the part about being dull. Ever since that megacreep from the Base of the Sacred Struggle proclaimed that apocalyptic vision of his, all of the Kids Next Door’s usual enemies have been almost deafeningly quiet. At least Numbuhs One and 362 had a good idea for keeping all of us alert with that play those two codirected.”
A distinctly mischievous smile crept onto Fanny’s face in comprehension of Patton’s reference to “that play.” Nigel and Rachel had organized an acting project based on William Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet, with the ultimate objective... of getting Numbuhs Four and Three, a.k.a. Wallabee Beetles and Kuki Sanban -- the most insanely popular couple in all of the Kids Next Door -- to admit their feelings for each other and thus stop wreaking havoc all across the Moonbase over something involving Kuki’s stuffed animals. Such a project proved possible to integrate into the Moonbase’s schedule since, in the wake of the BJ leader’s globally broadcast tirade, every previously sworn enemy of the Kids Next Door had essentially quit even trying to defeat them. Those enemies must have been scared to death that he and his friends, especially the extraordinarily diabolical President of Iran, would betray them and successfully force them to spread their sick world domination agenda just as Grandfather did by transforming every last one of them -- except Father, whom Grandfather ordered to scram after usurping his leadership position on the spot -- into “ancient, age-ified Senior Citizombies” and unleashing them upon the world so that they could “decimate those meddlesome Kids Next Door.” Thus it was that KND Global Command’s lunar headquarters went unimpeded as operatives there gathered in the auditorium for what Nigel aptly referred to as “Operation Romeo and Juliet.” Sure enough, the plan worked, in retrospect, maybe even better than Nigel and Rachel intended, because Patton found himself pondering whether or not his friendship with Fanny could develop into something more.
“Ye had to remind me of that play, didn’t ya?” Fanny chuckled, an odd gleam in her eye. “I’m still amazed that Numbuhs Four and Three get along as well as they do now that they’re an official couple.”
“Tell me about it. You wouldn’t believe how berserk quite a few of our fellow operatives, especially the female ones, go at the very mention of those two. In fact, I think one of them wondered aloud what would happen if Four and Three got married in the future,” Patton added with some chuckles of his own. “I'll tell ya: One and 362 really got everyone fired up with that acting project, especially after pairing Numbuhs Two and Five against me and you.” He paused and closed his eyes, then opened them again after a moment and shifted them to Fanny. “Yet, you know what? I’ve been thinking’…”
“Is that so, ya stupid boy?” Fanny inquired playfully, which inspired a nervous gulp from Patton, and then regained her previous seriousness, cueing him to do the same. “Well, speakin’ of Numbuhs Two and Five, before I shuttled down here, I happened to order them to pick up some spare parts for the Moonbase’s weapons arrays. I’d hate havin’ to learn that our most important base has nothin’ to repair itself with.”
“Good thinking, especially in times as perilous as this,” Patton said complimentarily. “Where’d they go?”
Fanny shrugged dismissively. “I guess they’re headin’ fer whatever 2 by 4 store exists in Sector V’s hometown.”
“In Ohio?” Patton mused… while gradually shifting his eyes back to his computer.
“Eh? What could ye possibly be lookin’ at, Numbuh 60?” Fanny asked a couple of moments later, slightly annoyed.
“Sorry, Numbuh 86,” Patton replied quickly yet sincerely. “I’ve been trying to figure out these really weird codes I stumbled across while investigating the history of those ‘Guardians of the Islamic Revolution’ of whom that… demonic Iranian President Ali Muhammad Teherani says he’s a member.”
Fanny got up from her chair and walked counterclockwise around Patton’s desk to get a better view of whatever his computer displayed at that moment. Just what were these codes supposed to tell them about that evil organization? She rested her right elbow on his left shoulder and leaned her head down slightly so her eyes could decipher the computer text more clearly. Suddenly, she frowned in puzzlement at a single phrase that sounded like nothing she’d ever heard before.
“’Party… of Allah…’” Fanny pronounced the words slowly and carefully. “’Party… of Allah…’ Pfft!!! What kinda phrase is that supposed to be?!”
“I’m as confused as you are, Numbuh 86,” Patton stated flatly after slightly shaking his head negatively. “However, that wasn’t the only strange thing I found. This map” -- he typed in a few keywords and clicked the necessary button to bring up a world map with some blinking straight lines between certain points on it -- “was attached to those codes.”
Fanny’s frown only deepened in mounting confusion... and accompanying irritation. “All right, Numbuh 60. What the heck are we lookin’ at here?”
“Hmm… well, let’s start from where we are,” Patton began while pointing to Antarctica on the computer map, then gradually tracing his finger to the nearest blinking dot. “Isn’t that Sector B’s jurisdiction?”
“Brazil? To tell ye the truth, I think I see somethin’ else,” Fanny countered, then pointed to a strange icon where the broken lines came to an end.
The Arctic Base commander’s eyes honed in on the icon to which the Global Tactical Officer was pointing. It was his turn to frown in puzzlement... that is, if he wasn’t already. The icon was a Yipper head positioned directly next to a Rainbow Monkey head. It was located at almost the precise spot where Ohio would be on an American map. Finally, the various blinking lines ended at that icon as one point.
“This is getting just plain weird,” Patton commented as his eyes began to follow each line in its respective direction, pausing at each dot. “Let’s see… Ohio… North Carolina… Guatemala… Brazil… wait a sec.”
The final blinking line had a strikingly odd destination to it. It branched northeast from Brazil… and terminated in a Middle Eastern country Patton had only heard about fleetingly some days after that double airplane attack. This country was marked with a dollar icon, most likely a symbol of money.
“Humph!!! Ya picked quite an odd map and set of codes to investigate, Numbuh 60. I hafta wonder why anybody there would want a lotta money just to buy Yipper Cards and Rainbow Monkeys,” Fanny said thoughtfully, smiling a bit happily to herself at the last two words as she removed her elbow from his shoulder so she could stand straight.
“Ditto to that, Numbuh 86. It’s bemusing enough that many KND operatives are obsessed with these respective kids’ items, but now, adults??!!” Patton pointed out a bit exclamatorily... then paused once more in seeming realization. “Hold it...”
“UGH!!!! What’s wrong now?” Fanny groaned, her exasperation beginning to show itself. “It’s not like something doesn’t feel quite right with these adults, which it obviously does not!!!”
“No, you’re right,” affirmed Patton hastily yet increasingly boldly. “Why could adults possibly want to purchase Yipper Cards and Rainbow Monkeys for themselves?”
Fanny looked down at her usually -- and, to her surprise, likably -- strict male companion, clearly unaware of what he had in mind. “They either want to be kids again…”
“Or think that those two kids’ items can serve whatever sinister agenda they’ve got in mind,” Patton finished, then sharply turned his face to meet that of his likably strict female companion, remembering that part of their conversation that involved spare parts for the Kids Next Door Moonbase.
Fanny’s eyes widened as she realized just what Patton meant. “You don’t think...?”
Patton Drilovsky could only stare directly at Fanny Fulbright before they both turned slowly but surely toward the computer screen, which was still displaying the world map on it, with the previous information hidden behind said map. The dual Yipper Card/Rainbow Monkey icon that marked Ohio represented a key store that sold both items… right in Sector V’s hometown. Whoever these “Party of Allah” people were, their activities took them close enough to Numbuhs Two and Five, known respectively as Hoagie Gilligan and Abigail Lincoln, that they could create some real trouble for the other major couple of Sector V. Any information initially displayed about the Guardians of the Islamic Revolution would have to wait…
… or would it?
END OF CHAPTER 1
===========================================================================
“Smokescreens, Dogs, and Rainbows”
Chapter 2: “Missions and Mysteries”
“Can you believe the roller coaster ride we’ve been on so far, Abby?”
“I totally dig you, Hoagie. This mission Numbuh 86 gave us feels waaaaaay too easy.”
As Hoagie Gilligan and Abby Lincoln walked steadily down a street in Gallagher, Ohio, their hometown for as long as those could remember, they conversed in profound amazement at how dramatically their lives had changed in the past three months. Back then, Hoagie and Abby were simply friends thoroughly stunned by the incomprehensibly grim and serious news about the collapse of those twin skyscrapers in New York City. As time progressed after that repugnant double attack, they found life in Kids Next Door Sector V far quieter than it used to be, but a tremendous morale booster popped up three weeks ago when Wallabee Beetles and Kuki Sanban finally admitted that they loved each other after Wallabee and Kuki, the KND Moonbase’s rendition of that preeminently Shakespearean romantic drama as proposed, organized, and codirected by their sector leader and Supreme Commander. The resulting cheers, whistles, and overall applause for Nigel Uno and Rachel McKenzie Hoagie and Abby both thought to be well-deserved, especially since they found themselves growing closer to each other after playing Lord and Lady Montague against Lord Patton and Lady Francine Capulet, known in the Kids Next Door as Numbuhs 60 and 86, respectively.
“Oh, yeah, especially since our previous enemies are now way too gihugically frightened to try attacking us. Just look around: no adult, teen, or even kid villains in sight at all,” Hoagie concurred astutely while gesturing with his hand to encompass the entire neighborhood. “Then again, who wouldn’t be gihugically frightened now that we’ve got villains crazy enough to crash planes into skyscrapers -- while they're still on them -- so they can dominate the world with this ‘Law of Submission’ they’re so hungry for?”
“You can say that again. Not even Grandfather was evil enough to think of this,” Abby answered soberly… remembering all too well her horrifically up-close-&-personal encounter with her Senior Citizombified older sister, Cree, just after Grandfather was reawakened through the Recommissioning Module, then sighing in grim remembrance and consignation of its personally dire result. “With those Base of Jihad guys and whatever friends they’ve got runnin’ around tryin’ to annihilate us, we can’t take any chances whatsoever. Not you, not me, not Wally and Kuki, and definitely not the Moonbase, ya hear?”
“To say nothing of Numbuhs One and 362,” Hoagie added as pertinently as he could just as Sector V’s “final” major couple neared their destination. “Speaking of which, Abby, where do you think those two were this whole morning?”
“Numbuh Five’s guess is as good as yours, Hoagie,” Abby replied. “They’ve gotta be pretty darn steamed by whatever they’ve been learning about these new villains, judgin’ from their faces this past couple of weeks.” In the middle of the last word, the automatic doors serving as the entrance to and exit from Gallagher’s primary 2 by 4 technology store swung open, allowing the duo to step into it. “Now, come on, let’s get what Numbuh 86 sent us here to find, then head back to the Moonbase.”
With that, Hoagie nodded attentively at Abby, and the two of them split up and headed for separate aisles, each looking for separate spare parts for the weapons arrays on the lunar headquarters of Kids Next Door Global Command. The items they sought would normally be thought of as common items in specific parts of a city, most commonly a city full of prepubescent kids: gumball mini-machines, bowling pins, mustard bottles, teddy bears. However, springs and magnets dotted another aisle. There was even a special section housing a couple of rockets. Hoagie searched through one aisle; Abby searched through another. Up and down they traversed the store, sometimes running into each other and taking the opportunity to double-check the necessary items to make certain they had everything they could obtain so far. The process repeated itself until, finally, Hoagie and Abby gathered back at the automatic doors, carefully dragging or carrying their various 2 by 4 purchases with them.
“So, Abby, did you find everything you needed to get?” Hoagie asked.
“Yep, Hoagie. Let’s am-scray before somethin’ crazy goes down,” Abby admonished.
The two kids proceeded out of the store, the spare parts they needed to safely acquire in tow, silently triumphant at another mission accompli--
CRASH!!!! Hoagie and Abby felt someone obviously much taller walk straight into them. All three hit the sidewalk immediately, Hoagie’s stomach to the pavement, Abby on her side, their purchases dropping to the pavement. The last individual, a man of a mysterious demeanor and short obsidian hair, coercively released his grip on whatever he was carrying and fell forward himself. Several little cards gently floated down on the three before Hoagie and Abby started groaning back to consciousness.
“Abby! Are you okay?” Hoagie called out.
“Yeah… I think so…” Abby replied, her breath still not quite back yet… and something covering the right side of her face. “Wha…” Her right hand grasped the unknown object and quite easily peeled it off her face. “Huh? Wait a minute…” The image on the card in her hand was unmistakable: A yellow dog with a nose as red as her cap. “A Yipper Card?!?!”
Hoagie’s eyes snapped open as soon as Abby mentioned “it.” When his mind caught up with them, they zipped back and forth at the cards littered immediately in front of him. He grabbed the nearest one and held it in front of him. Sure enough, his eyes confirmed the perceptions of his ears.
“Holy cow, you’re right!!!” Hoagie exclaimed. “But… what would it be doing out he-- HEY!!!!”
Hoagie never got a chance to fully think the card through, for the unknown man just snatched the card up from the round boy’s hand and began throwing it and as many other Yipper Cards as possible into the bag he’d been holding as frantically as he could. Hoagie and Abby simply stared incredulously as the man muttered some words to himself about “struggling” against something in Gallagher, then raced off down the street… but not before a different card flew out of his pocket and onto the sidewalk. Hoagie and Abby steadily yet nervously tiptoed toward the card until it was inches from them. Abby nodded to Hoagie, who then bent down and retrieved the card to examine it more closely. One phrase eventually stood out to both of them… precisely because it was the only decipherable phrase on the card. Surrounding it were several inscriptions and calculations unlike any either of them had seen before.
“’Party of Allah…’ What a weird name that guy has, don’t you think?” Hoagie said, stroking his chin thoughtfully.
Abby nodded coolly. “Mm-hmm. Numbuh Five smells somethin’ rotten, and it ain’t that macaroni and cheese sandwich you were eatin’ before Numbuh 86 ordered us down here, Hoagie.”
“Well, if that guy thinks he’s gonna let us leave this little mystery of the bag of stashed Yipper Cards unresolved, then he’s barking up the wrong tree!!!!” Hoagie declared quite dramatically.
Abby only face-palmed and shook her head right after cringing at her stout friend’s new “resolve.” “Let’s just pick up these spare parts so we can report back to the Moonbase…” She removed her face from her palm… and realized she’d been talking to air. “Huh? Now where’d that boy go head--” She turned her head toward the sidewalk just in time to make out Hoagie sprinting as rapidly as he could after the guy holding said bag of Yipper Cards and sighed to herself. “Numbuh Five suddenly has a feelin’ that things are startin’ to pick up speed just a bit…”
That final observation safely tucked away in the back of her mind, Abby Lincoln raced, or more like trudged, off after Hoagie Gilligan, pulling the various bags of spare 2 by 4 technology parts loyally behind her as she slowly but certainly tried to find him. She didn’t want him simply rushing into trouble without any backup, but even she didn’t initially realize precisely how on their own those two would be, at least for the moment. Had Abby stuck around for about three more minutes, she would have heard her communicator crackling to life -- and two voices with distinct accents, one female Irish and the other male military, hollering from it.
“Numbuhs Two and Five, come in!!!! This is Numbuh 86 callin’ from the Arctic Training Base!!! DO--YE--READ--ME?!?!”
“And this is Numbuh 60 wonderin’ why you soldiers aren’t responding IMMEDIATELY at a time like thi--”
“Will ye STAY OUTTA THIS?!?!?! I’m the one who ordered those two to pick up those 2 by 4 spare parts!!!!!”
“Grr!!! If Numbuhs Two and Five meet up with those Party of Allah people too quickly…”
END OF CHAPTER 2
“Smokescreens, Dogs, and Rainbows”
Chapter 1: “Investigations”
The jet-haired boy sat at his desk in his office on the Kids Next Door Arctic Training Base, rubbing his chin contemplatively while his eyes steadily scanned the information displayed on his computer. His job necessarily required him to project a humorless aura around him, but at this moment, he was even sterner in his demeanor, perhaps naturally so given that information’s brutal background within his recollections of recent events. Three months ago, Numbuh 86 had contacted him from the Kids Next Door Moonbase, informing him of an unthinkable attack in New York City. Almost 3,000 men, women, and children -- including two of the KND’s best spies -- were mass-murdered when two airplanes crashed intentionally into North America’s tallest twin skyscrapers, demolishing them. In response, 86 explained, Numbuh 362 was ordering all Kids Next Door bases on Earth to go on special standby in case any of their sworn enemies tried to... take advantage of all the mayhem that resulted as she called Sector V to her office to inform them of this attack at the eastern end of their jurisdiction. Meanwhile, the KND Global Tactical Officer was just wrapping up a review of Global Command’s weapons arrays, and now, she wanted to learn about his facility’s weapons systems. The Cadets Next Door responded that all weapons on the Arctic Training Base were fully operational. What struck him about Numbuh 86, a.k.a. Francine “Fanny” Fulbright, as she explained the situation was that she didn’t try to raise her voice to him even once. She must have been understandably shocked that such a cowardly and dishonorable strike had occurred. Whoever these new villains were, they had to have meant business.
The Kids Next Door’s drill sergeant didn’t know the half of it. Two days later, a man who identified himself as Khalid Tariq Saif, the global leader of some organization called the "Base of Jihad," appeared and claimed responsibility for that double airplane massacre, praising the thugs who’d perpetrated it and then promising attacks even worse than this one as part of the “Sacred Struggle” to completely annihilate the United States of America and its closest allies. The vision that this apparent and practical madman wanted to impose -- which he described as the “Great Sharia” -- was enough to make Grandfather, long considered the World’s Most Ultimate Evil, look nice: children jailed for flying kites or playing tag; people of other ages suffering the same fate for owning a television, listening to music, or searching for lost pets; rocks thrown at men if their beards weren’t the proper color; girls and women forbidden from any interaction in school. The boy would learn in the following weeks -- as reported intermittently by Kids Next Door News Network and confirmed by 362 as well as Numbuh One, the leader of Sector V -- that the BJ had received financing and training for the aptly-titled “Great New York City Airplane Massacre” from an even more malicious and dangerous organization that called itself the “Guardians of the Islamic Revolution,” which had as its official goal a one-world utopia led by the “Hidden Imam.” Iranian President Ali Muhammad Teherani, who himself was one of these Guardians even now, had personally authorized their assistance of that strike in New York City and was right at this second about to deliver a speech before the United Global Assembly there, a speech that Numbuhs One and 362, known respectively as Nigel Uno and Rachel McKenzie and now considered the most prominent and “commanding” couple in the Kids Next Door, indicated they would be watching in the rec room near the Supreme Leader’s office. Any further details about Teherani and Saif’s hopelessly tyrannical vision Patton Drilovsky, a.k.a. Numbuh 60, considered redundant. As Patton now rested his chin on the back of his fingers and his left elbow on his desk, one fact was stark to him: these comprehensively despicable villains were many things, but human was absolutely, egregiously, irrevocably, obviously, and ubiquitously NOT one of them.
“Yeeeeeeeesh… how any adult can be this twisted, this vicious, this evil is WAY beyond me…” Patton muttered to himself in open contempt while maneuvering the mouse to access some new commands and files. “At least our previous enemies just wanted to challenge kids’ ability to have fun and be kids.” One last sigh of frustration escaped his mouth. “I sincerely hope the deity that these ‘Sacred Strugglers’” -- his voice dripped sarcasm, fury, and alarm at the last two words -- “seem to revere has mercy on them if they lay so much as a finger on Numbuh 86... BECAUSE I DEFINITELY WON’T!!!!!!!!”
At the last word he roared, his left fist slammed onto the desk, shaking it and the computer keyboard just inches in front of him, and stayed there for all of about three seconds before flattening into a hand in resignation. Being the drill sergeant for the Kids Next Door and de facto commander of the Arctic Base, Patton never developed an interest in romantic relationships, but several past interactions with Fanny were leading him to rethink, if just a bit, that interest. Five steady yet abrupt knocks on the door interrupted Patton’s thought process one minute later, silencing that romantic interest for the moment.
“Come in,” Patton deadpanned loudly, his eyes still focused on his computer.
The door opened… and in stepped the one girl Patton least expected to see at that immediate moment. Her expression might have been more businesslike than his, perhaps admirably so, given her usual job on the Moonbase. Patton shifted his face to meet hers… and did a slight double take.
“Oh!!” Patton interjected with some surprise before standing up and saluting. “Hello, Numbuh 86, ma’am. What brings you down here to Antarctica?” This base’s presence at the South Pole was ironic because its name would have suggested that it was located at the North Pole.
“At ease, Numbuh 60,” Fanny returned before gesturing to him to sit back down and taking the nearby chair to sit down herself. “As for yer question… the Moonbase was gettin’ a bit dull, so I figured I might as well stop by here for a short visit.”
Patton nodded perceptively. “I get the part about being dull. Ever since that megacreep from the Base of the Sacred Struggle proclaimed that apocalyptic vision of his, all of the Kids Next Door’s usual enemies have been almost deafeningly quiet. At least Numbuhs One and 362 had a good idea for keeping all of us alert with that play those two codirected.”
A distinctly mischievous smile crept onto Fanny’s face in comprehension of Patton’s reference to “that play.” Nigel and Rachel had organized an acting project based on William Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet, with the ultimate objective... of getting Numbuhs Four and Three, a.k.a. Wallabee Beetles and Kuki Sanban -- the most insanely popular couple in all of the Kids Next Door -- to admit their feelings for each other and thus stop wreaking havoc all across the Moonbase over something involving Kuki’s stuffed animals. Such a project proved possible to integrate into the Moonbase’s schedule since, in the wake of the BJ leader’s globally broadcast tirade, every previously sworn enemy of the Kids Next Door had essentially quit even trying to defeat them. Those enemies must have been scared to death that he and his friends, especially the extraordinarily diabolical President of Iran, would betray them and successfully force them to spread their sick world domination agenda just as Grandfather did by transforming every last one of them -- except Father, whom Grandfather ordered to scram after usurping his leadership position on the spot -- into “ancient, age-ified Senior Citizombies” and unleashing them upon the world so that they could “decimate those meddlesome Kids Next Door.” Thus it was that KND Global Command’s lunar headquarters went unimpeded as operatives there gathered in the auditorium for what Nigel aptly referred to as “Operation Romeo and Juliet.” Sure enough, the plan worked, in retrospect, maybe even better than Nigel and Rachel intended, because Patton found himself pondering whether or not his friendship with Fanny could develop into something more.
“Ye had to remind me of that play, didn’t ya?” Fanny chuckled, an odd gleam in her eye. “I’m still amazed that Numbuhs Four and Three get along as well as they do now that they’re an official couple.”
“Tell me about it. You wouldn’t believe how berserk quite a few of our fellow operatives, especially the female ones, go at the very mention of those two. In fact, I think one of them wondered aloud what would happen if Four and Three got married in the future,” Patton added with some chuckles of his own. “I'll tell ya: One and 362 really got everyone fired up with that acting project, especially after pairing Numbuhs Two and Five against me and you.” He paused and closed his eyes, then opened them again after a moment and shifted them to Fanny. “Yet, you know what? I’ve been thinking’…”
“Is that so, ya stupid boy?” Fanny inquired playfully, which inspired a nervous gulp from Patton, and then regained her previous seriousness, cueing him to do the same. “Well, speakin’ of Numbuhs Two and Five, before I shuttled down here, I happened to order them to pick up some spare parts for the Moonbase’s weapons arrays. I’d hate havin’ to learn that our most important base has nothin’ to repair itself with.”
“Good thinking, especially in times as perilous as this,” Patton said complimentarily. “Where’d they go?”
Fanny shrugged dismissively. “I guess they’re headin’ fer whatever 2 by 4 store exists in Sector V’s hometown.”
“In Ohio?” Patton mused… while gradually shifting his eyes back to his computer.
“Eh? What could ye possibly be lookin’ at, Numbuh 60?” Fanny asked a couple of moments later, slightly annoyed.
“Sorry, Numbuh 86,” Patton replied quickly yet sincerely. “I’ve been trying to figure out these really weird codes I stumbled across while investigating the history of those ‘Guardians of the Islamic Revolution’ of whom that… demonic Iranian President Ali Muhammad Teherani says he’s a member.”
Fanny got up from her chair and walked counterclockwise around Patton’s desk to get a better view of whatever his computer displayed at that moment. Just what were these codes supposed to tell them about that evil organization? She rested her right elbow on his left shoulder and leaned her head down slightly so her eyes could decipher the computer text more clearly. Suddenly, she frowned in puzzlement at a single phrase that sounded like nothing she’d ever heard before.
“’Party… of Allah…’” Fanny pronounced the words slowly and carefully. “’Party… of Allah…’ Pfft!!! What kinda phrase is that supposed to be?!”
“I’m as confused as you are, Numbuh 86,” Patton stated flatly after slightly shaking his head negatively. “However, that wasn’t the only strange thing I found. This map” -- he typed in a few keywords and clicked the necessary button to bring up a world map with some blinking straight lines between certain points on it -- “was attached to those codes.”
Fanny’s frown only deepened in mounting confusion... and accompanying irritation. “All right, Numbuh 60. What the heck are we lookin’ at here?”
“Hmm… well, let’s start from where we are,” Patton began while pointing to Antarctica on the computer map, then gradually tracing his finger to the nearest blinking dot. “Isn’t that Sector B’s jurisdiction?”
“Brazil? To tell ye the truth, I think I see somethin’ else,” Fanny countered, then pointed to a strange icon where the broken lines came to an end.
The Arctic Base commander’s eyes honed in on the icon to which the Global Tactical Officer was pointing. It was his turn to frown in puzzlement... that is, if he wasn’t already. The icon was a Yipper head positioned directly next to a Rainbow Monkey head. It was located at almost the precise spot where Ohio would be on an American map. Finally, the various blinking lines ended at that icon as one point.
“This is getting just plain weird,” Patton commented as his eyes began to follow each line in its respective direction, pausing at each dot. “Let’s see… Ohio… North Carolina… Guatemala… Brazil… wait a sec.”
The final blinking line had a strikingly odd destination to it. It branched northeast from Brazil… and terminated in a Middle Eastern country Patton had only heard about fleetingly some days after that double airplane attack. This country was marked with a dollar icon, most likely a symbol of money.
“Humph!!! Ya picked quite an odd map and set of codes to investigate, Numbuh 60. I hafta wonder why anybody there would want a lotta money just to buy Yipper Cards and Rainbow Monkeys,” Fanny said thoughtfully, smiling a bit happily to herself at the last two words as she removed her elbow from his shoulder so she could stand straight.
“Ditto to that, Numbuh 86. It’s bemusing enough that many KND operatives are obsessed with these respective kids’ items, but now, adults??!!” Patton pointed out a bit exclamatorily... then paused once more in seeming realization. “Hold it...”
“UGH!!!! What’s wrong now?” Fanny groaned, her exasperation beginning to show itself. “It’s not like something doesn’t feel quite right with these adults, which it obviously does not!!!”
“No, you’re right,” affirmed Patton hastily yet increasingly boldly. “Why could adults possibly want to purchase Yipper Cards and Rainbow Monkeys for themselves?”
Fanny looked down at her usually -- and, to her surprise, likably -- strict male companion, clearly unaware of what he had in mind. “They either want to be kids again…”
“Or think that those two kids’ items can serve whatever sinister agenda they’ve got in mind,” Patton finished, then sharply turned his face to meet that of his likably strict female companion, remembering that part of their conversation that involved spare parts for the Kids Next Door Moonbase.
Fanny’s eyes widened as she realized just what Patton meant. “You don’t think...?”
Patton Drilovsky could only stare directly at Fanny Fulbright before they both turned slowly but surely toward the computer screen, which was still displaying the world map on it, with the previous information hidden behind said map. The dual Yipper Card/Rainbow Monkey icon that marked Ohio represented a key store that sold both items… right in Sector V’s hometown. Whoever these “Party of Allah” people were, their activities took them close enough to Numbuhs Two and Five, known respectively as Hoagie Gilligan and Abigail Lincoln, that they could create some real trouble for the other major couple of Sector V. Any information initially displayed about the Guardians of the Islamic Revolution would have to wait…
… or would it?
END OF CHAPTER 1
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“Smokescreens, Dogs, and Rainbows”
Chapter 2: “Missions and Mysteries”
“Can you believe the roller coaster ride we’ve been on so far, Abby?”
“I totally dig you, Hoagie. This mission Numbuh 86 gave us feels waaaaaay too easy.”
As Hoagie Gilligan and Abby Lincoln walked steadily down a street in Gallagher, Ohio, their hometown for as long as those could remember, they conversed in profound amazement at how dramatically their lives had changed in the past three months. Back then, Hoagie and Abby were simply friends thoroughly stunned by the incomprehensibly grim and serious news about the collapse of those twin skyscrapers in New York City. As time progressed after that repugnant double attack, they found life in Kids Next Door Sector V far quieter than it used to be, but a tremendous morale booster popped up three weeks ago when Wallabee Beetles and Kuki Sanban finally admitted that they loved each other after Wallabee and Kuki, the KND Moonbase’s rendition of that preeminently Shakespearean romantic drama as proposed, organized, and codirected by their sector leader and Supreme Commander. The resulting cheers, whistles, and overall applause for Nigel Uno and Rachel McKenzie Hoagie and Abby both thought to be well-deserved, especially since they found themselves growing closer to each other after playing Lord and Lady Montague against Lord Patton and Lady Francine Capulet, known in the Kids Next Door as Numbuhs 60 and 86, respectively.
“Oh, yeah, especially since our previous enemies are now way too gihugically frightened to try attacking us. Just look around: no adult, teen, or even kid villains in sight at all,” Hoagie concurred astutely while gesturing with his hand to encompass the entire neighborhood. “Then again, who wouldn’t be gihugically frightened now that we’ve got villains crazy enough to crash planes into skyscrapers -- while they're still on them -- so they can dominate the world with this ‘Law of Submission’ they’re so hungry for?”
“You can say that again. Not even Grandfather was evil enough to think of this,” Abby answered soberly… remembering all too well her horrifically up-close-&-personal encounter with her Senior Citizombified older sister, Cree, just after Grandfather was reawakened through the Recommissioning Module, then sighing in grim remembrance and consignation of its personally dire result. “With those Base of Jihad guys and whatever friends they’ve got runnin’ around tryin’ to annihilate us, we can’t take any chances whatsoever. Not you, not me, not Wally and Kuki, and definitely not the Moonbase, ya hear?”
“To say nothing of Numbuhs One and 362,” Hoagie added as pertinently as he could just as Sector V’s “final” major couple neared their destination. “Speaking of which, Abby, where do you think those two were this whole morning?”
“Numbuh Five’s guess is as good as yours, Hoagie,” Abby replied. “They’ve gotta be pretty darn steamed by whatever they’ve been learning about these new villains, judgin’ from their faces this past couple of weeks.” In the middle of the last word, the automatic doors serving as the entrance to and exit from Gallagher’s primary 2 by 4 technology store swung open, allowing the duo to step into it. “Now, come on, let’s get what Numbuh 86 sent us here to find, then head back to the Moonbase.”
With that, Hoagie nodded attentively at Abby, and the two of them split up and headed for separate aisles, each looking for separate spare parts for the weapons arrays on the lunar headquarters of Kids Next Door Global Command. The items they sought would normally be thought of as common items in specific parts of a city, most commonly a city full of prepubescent kids: gumball mini-machines, bowling pins, mustard bottles, teddy bears. However, springs and magnets dotted another aisle. There was even a special section housing a couple of rockets. Hoagie searched through one aisle; Abby searched through another. Up and down they traversed the store, sometimes running into each other and taking the opportunity to double-check the necessary items to make certain they had everything they could obtain so far. The process repeated itself until, finally, Hoagie and Abby gathered back at the automatic doors, carefully dragging or carrying their various 2 by 4 purchases with them.
“So, Abby, did you find everything you needed to get?” Hoagie asked.
“Yep, Hoagie. Let’s am-scray before somethin’ crazy goes down,” Abby admonished.
The two kids proceeded out of the store, the spare parts they needed to safely acquire in tow, silently triumphant at another mission accompli--
CRASH!!!! Hoagie and Abby felt someone obviously much taller walk straight into them. All three hit the sidewalk immediately, Hoagie’s stomach to the pavement, Abby on her side, their purchases dropping to the pavement. The last individual, a man of a mysterious demeanor and short obsidian hair, coercively released his grip on whatever he was carrying and fell forward himself. Several little cards gently floated down on the three before Hoagie and Abby started groaning back to consciousness.
“Abby! Are you okay?” Hoagie called out.
“Yeah… I think so…” Abby replied, her breath still not quite back yet… and something covering the right side of her face. “Wha…” Her right hand grasped the unknown object and quite easily peeled it off her face. “Huh? Wait a minute…” The image on the card in her hand was unmistakable: A yellow dog with a nose as red as her cap. “A Yipper Card?!?!”
Hoagie’s eyes snapped open as soon as Abby mentioned “it.” When his mind caught up with them, they zipped back and forth at the cards littered immediately in front of him. He grabbed the nearest one and held it in front of him. Sure enough, his eyes confirmed the perceptions of his ears.
“Holy cow, you’re right!!!” Hoagie exclaimed. “But… what would it be doing out he-- HEY!!!!”
Hoagie never got a chance to fully think the card through, for the unknown man just snatched the card up from the round boy’s hand and began throwing it and as many other Yipper Cards as possible into the bag he’d been holding as frantically as he could. Hoagie and Abby simply stared incredulously as the man muttered some words to himself about “struggling” against something in Gallagher, then raced off down the street… but not before a different card flew out of his pocket and onto the sidewalk. Hoagie and Abby steadily yet nervously tiptoed toward the card until it was inches from them. Abby nodded to Hoagie, who then bent down and retrieved the card to examine it more closely. One phrase eventually stood out to both of them… precisely because it was the only decipherable phrase on the card. Surrounding it were several inscriptions and calculations unlike any either of them had seen before.
“’Party of Allah…’ What a weird name that guy has, don’t you think?” Hoagie said, stroking his chin thoughtfully.
Abby nodded coolly. “Mm-hmm. Numbuh Five smells somethin’ rotten, and it ain’t that macaroni and cheese sandwich you were eatin’ before Numbuh 86 ordered us down here, Hoagie.”
“Well, if that guy thinks he’s gonna let us leave this little mystery of the bag of stashed Yipper Cards unresolved, then he’s barking up the wrong tree!!!!” Hoagie declared quite dramatically.
Abby only face-palmed and shook her head right after cringing at her stout friend’s new “resolve.” “Let’s just pick up these spare parts so we can report back to the Moonbase…” She removed her face from her palm… and realized she’d been talking to air. “Huh? Now where’d that boy go head--” She turned her head toward the sidewalk just in time to make out Hoagie sprinting as rapidly as he could after the guy holding said bag of Yipper Cards and sighed to herself. “Numbuh Five suddenly has a feelin’ that things are startin’ to pick up speed just a bit…”
That final observation safely tucked away in the back of her mind, Abby Lincoln raced, or more like trudged, off after Hoagie Gilligan, pulling the various bags of spare 2 by 4 technology parts loyally behind her as she slowly but certainly tried to find him. She didn’t want him simply rushing into trouble without any backup, but even she didn’t initially realize precisely how on their own those two would be, at least for the moment. Had Abby stuck around for about three more minutes, she would have heard her communicator crackling to life -- and two voices with distinct accents, one female Irish and the other male military, hollering from it.
“Numbuhs Two and Five, come in!!!! This is Numbuh 86 callin’ from the Arctic Training Base!!! DO--YE--READ--ME?!?!”
“And this is Numbuh 60 wonderin’ why you soldiers aren’t responding IMMEDIATELY at a time like thi--”
“Will ye STAY OUTTA THIS?!?!?! I’m the one who ordered those two to pick up those 2 by 4 spare parts!!!!!”
“Grr!!! If Numbuhs Two and Five meet up with those Party of Allah people too quickly…”
END OF CHAPTER 2
