Aladdin-KND style!

[shadoboy]

As I said, I will start re-posting my fanfics. I'll like to know if I should post it all at once or if I should wait a bit so I don't double post. Well, in the meanwhile enjoy the fist chapter.

Chapter one.

*Our spoof starts as we see a camel and his rider making their way through a scorching hot desert. They look very displeased. But that doesn’t keep the rider from singing our opening song!*
-“KND-ian nights”-
Oh I come from a land, from a faraway place
where the caravan camels roam.
Where it's flat and immense
and the heat is intense
It's barbaric, but hey, it's home.

When the wind's at your back
And the sun's from the west
And the sand in the glass is right
Come on down
stop on by.
Hop a carpet and fly!
To another KND-ian night!
*The camel and their rider enter the city of Ugrabah. It’s all really pretty and leaves the viewers without breath*

KND-ian nights!
Like KND-ian days!
More often than not
are hotter than hot
in a lot of good ways!
*The camel starts wheezing helplessly, and slumps down the floor. The rider, a kid with an aviator hat hops off and continues singing*

KND-ian nights!
'Neath KND-ian moons!
A fool off his guard
could fall and fall hard
out there on the dunes!
[…]

Numbuh 2: Welcome, to the city of Ugrabah! *narrator makes a vague hand move* Please come closer! *camera hits him on the face* AGH! BASTA-! I mean… *Clears throat* Welcome, to the city of mystery, and legends.
*silence*
Numbuh 2: Also the city of cheap souvenirs! *pulls a market stand, with lots of useless ****, out of nowhere* Gather round people, gather round!
*Tommy passes by*
Tommy: Hi Hoagie! Whatcha doing?
Numbuh 2: Uhm… I’m not Hoagie! *puts on a fake moustache*
Tommy: Suuuure…
Numbuh 2: If you’re not gonna buy, I suggest you keep walking!
Tommy: Okay, okay! Sheesh! *walks on*
Numbuh 2: Anyway… *clears throat* Look at all the wonderful things I have for sale here! Like this wonderful coffeepot! *holds up a strange, golden contraption* It makes fries too! *bangs the contraption on the counter, and fries come pouring out* Hardly ever breaks! *contraption makes a strange snapping sound, and cracks into a million pieces* Stupid internet…
Cameraman: Rip off!
Numbuh 2: Oh! Or how about his? *pulls out a simple, white box* Why, I’ve never seen such a fine specimen! The original, one of a kind, box of constipation! Mint condition! See? *pulls up the lid, and quickly makes a strange noise with his tongue out of the corner of his mouth*
*The cameraman turns to leave*
Numbuh 2: Oh please! Wait! Don’t go! I need money for my videoga-! I mean… *coughs and straightens his hat* I can see you’re interested in something really special. Then, how about this? *pulls out a pretty oil lamp* Ah? Ah?
*Cameraman punches Numbuh 2 in the face*
Numbuh 2: Son of a-! Errr… This lamp isn’t what it seems! It’s not the outside that counts. It’s the inside. And it once changed a young boy’s life. This young boy… was not what he seemed either. He, like this lamp, was a diamond in the rough. *narrator jiggles his eyebrows* Perhaps you would like to hear the tale?
Cameraman: … No.
Numbuh 2: Well, too bad! Sit down and listen! It starts on a dark, starry night. Like this one. Where an evil guy waits… Filled with evil purpose… *the narrator empties the oil lamp in his hand. Sand comes pouring out. He throws the sand into the air, in a mystic way*
*The camera moves up to view the stars*
Numbuh 2’s voice: ARGH! Oh no, I got sand in my eye! It stings!
*The camera fades out*

*Camera focuses again, to see two dark shadows, standing in the desert*
Tall dark shadow: You got the goods?
Short dark shadow: Indeed I do. *takes out a shiny half of a golden beetle. The tall shadow reaches out to grab it, but the short shadow holds it back* Ah! I want my reward first!
*A parrot with dark glasses flies out of nowhere and grabs the beetle, before landing on the tall shadow’s shoulder*
Tall dark shadow: Don’t worry. You’ll get what’s coming to you. Hee-hee…
Parrot: What’s coming to you! Awck!
Short dark shadow: Pie?
*The tall dark shadow connects the half of the beetle with the other half he’d just pulled out of his pocket. There is a small silence, and suddenly the beetle comes to life and flies off*
Tall dark shadow: After it!
*After an exciting chase scene in state of the art, sponsored cars, the beetle flies around a heap of sand, splits in two again and nestles itself in the sand. The heap of sand starts growing, and the ground rumbles. Suddenly, there is a large and incredibly creepy tiger head poking its way out of the sand*
Short dark shadow: Holy molly! That’s the second biggest tiger I’ve ever seen!
Tall dark shadow: Toiletnator… You are lame.
*the camera zooms in on the tall dark shadow, and due to the fact he still is in the Shadows we know he is Father*
Giant Tiger head: Actually, I’m supposed to be a Lion…
Father: You look like a tiger! Now shut up, nobody told to talk!
Toiletnator: Let me show you I make a good Villain!
Father: Then what are you waiting for? Go inside and get the treasure. Just remember, the lamp is mine!
Father’s parrot: The lamp! The lamp!
*Toiletnator approaches the cavern, and when he is out of earshot, the parrot turns to Father*
Father’s Parrot: Man, where did you get this bozo? He’s stupider than my great auntie!
Father: Patience, Kid. We’ll just let him do all the work, and bask in the glory of the lamp.
Numbuh 1: Meh. As long as I get my money.
*Father whacks Numbuh 1. Meanwhile, Toiletnator is standing in front of the cavern*
Giant tiger head: Who dares to wake me?!
Toiletnator: Uuuuh… It is I! Toiletnator!
Giant tiger head: Enter me, if you dare. But be warned! Only one may enter the Cavern of wonders! One whose worth lies far within. A diamond in the rough!
*Toiletnator looks back at Father. They both shrug*
Toiletnator: Alrighty then.
*Toiletnator happily hops into the cavern*
Toiletnator: Wow, this place is huge!
*Suddenly, the tiger mouth closes again with a loud bang, and plenty of expensive special effects. Toiletnator is no more. The giant tiger head has collapsed into a heap of sand again, as the two beetle halves slide down*
Giant tiger head’s voice: Seek thee out, a diamond in the rough! *Echo*
*Numbuh 1 pokes its head out of the sand*
Numbuh 1: This is unbelievable! Totally unbelievable! All this trouble for nothing! Look at me! I’m so stressed out, my feathers are flying everywhere! *Numbuh 1 throws his feathers around, and grabs the two beetle halves* I need to speak with my agent! I’m gonna sue Shadoboy! Being a parrot sucks! *Numbuh 1 flies over to Father and hands over the beetle* One of these days, I’ll have a heart attack or something! Or simply snap! I can’t believe it! I’m the lead character of the show!
*Numbuh 1 continues to rant on for a few minutes, until Father shuts him up by grabbing his beak*
Father: Patience, Numbuh 1. We’ll have another shot at getting the lamp. But where do we find this… diamond in the rough?

End of chapter 1

[wallysgirl]

YAY! I'm the first one to review!! *Dances*

Anyway; awesome work as always!! I was laughing the whole figgin' time man!!! Poor Nigie, reduced to the role of a bird brain! XD (lol)

I felt sorry for Hoagie too, the camera man didn't like him very much. Anyway, again...nice job! Can't wait to see who you cast as Genie!!

Can't wait for your update...but we'll have to like always!! 10/10 stars here! Two thumbs up! (I would put up more, but I only have 2 thumbs. ^^)

[Renee]

I love aladdin! The first chapter was awesome. I can't wait for the next chapter!

[shadoboy]

Chapter two.

Starring…
Numbuh 4 as Aladdin
The ice cream men as the guards
Count Spankulot as Abu
Wallysgirl as the Fangirl, who is a large ugly lady in the movie.
The Kid as prince Achmed.
And some random people.

*The scene starts with a short blonde boy running over a rooftop, and clutching a loaf of bread. He is being chased by a Ice Cream man*
Ice Cream man #1: Stop, thief! I’ll cut off your damn hands!
Thief: All this for a loaf of bread…?
Ice Cream man #1: And those jewels you stole!
Thief: Oh… Right…
*The thief jumps off the building, and lands in a heap of clothes*
Thief: Phew, that was close… *pulls huge, heart-printed underpants off his head* Eww!
Ice Cream man #2: There he is!
Ice Cream man #3: Get ‘m!
Ice Cream man #4: When are we getting paid…?
*The thief wraps some clothes around him and runs off. He bumps into some ladies*
Lady: Getting into trouble a bit early, aren’t we Wally?
Numbuh 4: Trouble? Nuh-uh! You’re only in trouble when you get caught.
*Numbuh 4 the thief is suddenly grabbed by his hoodie, and he’s turned around to face Ice Cream man #1*
Numbuh 4: Crud…
Ice Cream man #1: Hahah! I’ve got you now, you little brat!
*Suddenly, a monkey hops down and pushes down the Ice Cream man turban*
Numbuh 4: Right on time, Spankulot!
*Spankulot the monkey salutes*
Numbuh 4: Let’s get outta here!

-“One jump ahead”-
Numbuh 4: Gotta keep…
One jump ahead of the breadline!
*Numbuh 4 jumps on top of a pile of barrels, and kicks one at the Ice Cream men*
One swing ahead of the sword!
*Numbuh 4 avoids the swipe of another Ice Cream man’s sword*
I steal only what I can't afford…
*Whisper: That's everything!*

*Numbuh 4 hides behind a barrel of fish, the Ice Cream men break it and slip on them. Numbuh 4 jumps on top of a roof and moons the Ice Cream men, before running off*
One jump ahead of the lawmen!
That's all, and that's no joke.
These guys don't appreciate I'm broke…
*Numbuh 4’s way is blocked, and he’s forced to jump on top of a platform*

Ice Cream man #1: Riffraff!
Ice Cream man #2: Street rat!
Ice Cream man #3: Scoundrel!
Ice Cream man #4: Darn brat!

Numbuh 4: Just a little snack, guys! *waves the bread tauntingly*
Ice Cream men: Rip him open, take it back, guys! *shake the platform in fury*
Numbuh 4: I can take a hint, gotta face the facts… *jumps down the platform, and grabs Spankulot’s hands, swinging away like an acrobat*
You're my only friend, Spankulot!
Crowd: Whah?

*Numbuh 4 hops through a window, and ends up in a harem*
Harem girls: Oh it's so sad, Numbuh 4's hit the bottom.
He's become a one-man rise in crime…
Woman: I'd blame parents, except he hasn't got 'em
Numbuh 4: Gotta eat to live, gotta steal to eat.
Tell you all about it when I got the time!
*Numbuh 4 falls back, out of the window again*

One jump ahead of the slowpokes!
One skip ahead of my doom!
Next time gonna use a nom de plume…
Crowd: …? *look around and shrug*
*Numbuh 4 runs across hot coals. The Ice Cream men follow and burn their feet*
Numbuh 4: One jump ahead of the hitmen!
One hit ahead of the flock!
*Numbuh 4 hops across a flock of sheep*
I think I'll take a stroll around the block!

Woman, whose jewels have been stolen: Stop, thief!
Woman, whose china plates have been smashed: Vandal!
Girly man: Outrage!
Random person: Scandal!

*Numbuh 4 is cornered by the Ice Cream men*
Numbuh 4: Let's not be too hasty…
*Wallysgirl jumps out of nowhere, hugs Numbuh 4*
Wallysgirl: Still I think he's rather tasty!
*Numbuh 4 shakes Wallysgirl off, and pats the Ice Cream men on the shoulder*
Numbuh 4: Gotta eat to live, gotta steal to eat,
otherwise we'd get along!
Ice Cream men: Wrong! *all attack Numbuh 4 at once. Then end in a big pile while Numbuh 4 runs into a building*

Numbuh 4: *running up the stairs* One jump ahead of the hoof beats!
Crowd: Vandal!
One hop ahead of the hump!
Crowd: Street rat!
One trick ahead of disaster!
Crowd: Scoundrel!
They're quick, but I'm much faster!
Crowd: Darn brat!
*Numbuh 4 grabs and carpet and heads for the window*
Here goes, better throw my hand in!
Wish me happy landing!
All I gotta do is jump!
*Numbuh 4 hops on the carpet and jumps out the window. The Ice Cream men jump after him, but fall to their doom*
[…]

*Numbuh 4 uses the carpet as a parachute, and lands safely, still holding the bread*
Numbuh 4: Muahahah! I rock! Don’t I rock, Spankulot?
Spankulot: …
Numbuh 4: Whatever. And now, we feast! *breaks bread in half and hands some to Spankulot*
*Suddenly, Numbuh 4 notices two younger kids rummaging through the garbage*
Numbuh 4: Hm… I feel kinda sorry for them. Oh well!
*Bites the bread, then he stares at the teary-eyed kids*
Numbuh 4: Aww, stupid conscience…
*Gives his bread to the kids.*
Numbuh 4: Well, I can always steal some more…
*Goes away. Spankulot starts eating his bread when one of the kids runs towards him, grabs the bread and runs off.*
Spankulot: *angry monkey noises*
*Spankulot Runs after the little kids
Numbuh 4: No! Bad monkey! Don’t spank them!
*Numbuh 4 chases Spankulot, who runs after the little thieves, who cross the street and nearly get run over by a rich guy on a horse. Numbuh 4 joins the crowd to stare at the rich guy*
Random bystander: On his way to the palace, I suppose.
Random bystander 2: Another potential husband for the princess. I feel sorry for him.
Random bystander 3: I like pizza.
*Numbuh 4 sees the kids on the other side of the street, eating the bread*
Spankulot: (Why you little-)
Numbuh 4: Run kids!
*Numbuh 4 crosses the street, and runs right in front of the rich guy’s horse, who is startled*
Prince The Kid: What the-! Out of my way, you filthy brat! *The Kid takes out a whip and waves it at Numbuh 4*
Numbuh 4: Hey, if I were as rich as you, I could afford some manners! *pulls the whip out of The Kid’s hands*
The Kid: Shut up! You’re the jaywalker here! Not me!
Numbuh 4: Whateva! *Numbuh 4 continues to walk across the street, but slips on a banana peel and falls into a puddle of mud. Everyone laughs, as prince The Kid just rides past him, to continue to the palace*
Numbuh 4: Hey Spankulot! It’s not every day you see a horse with two rear ends!
*The horse and The Kid look back, terribly offended*
The Kid: I resent that remark!
Horse: Same here!
The Kid: You worthless street rat! You were born a street rat, and you’ll die one! Not even your fleas will mourn you! Hah!
*The Kid enters the palace walls, and the doors slam shut behind him*
Numbuh 4: I may be worthless, but I’m not a street rat! And I don’t have fleas either… *scratches his hair insanely* Okay, maybe I do. Come on Spankulot, let’s go home.
*Spankulot hops on top of Numbuh 4’s shoulder, and the two walk off. They soon reach Numbuh 4’s home. A shabby sort of attic. Spankulot hops down on pillow, and falls asleep*

-“One jump ahead – reprise”-

Numbuh 4: Riffraff, street rat.
I don't buy that.
If only they'd look closer…
Would they see a poor boy? No siree.
They'd find out, there's so much more to me.
[…]

*Numbuh 4 sighs and moves the curtains out of the way to stare at the palace*
Numbuh 4: One day, Spankulot, everything’s gonna change. I’ll have a palace of my own, lots of money, and five types of dinner forks. And I’ll have a genie in a lamp, and a flying magic carpet… Oh! And butlers and chefs and theme song guys… And I'll make a cartoon about a secret organization of kids bent on thwarting the evil ways of adult oppression... And people will love the series and start Fan forums, fan art, and fan fiction. And we’ll have action figures… And the genie is some deranged cross dresser, who becomes my bestest buddy. And then I can get rid of you! Stupid monkey…
Spankulot: *snore*

*Inside the Palace, on the Sultan’s chamber The Kid storms in*
Mr. Sanban: Oh, Prince The Kid. You're not leaving so soon, are you?
*The Kid kicks Mr. Sanban on the crotch*
Mr. Sanban: AGH! What was that for?!
The Kid: That’s what your daughter did to me! Good luck at marrying her, Sultan Sanban!
Mr. Sanban: Oh, not again…

*Mr. Sanban goes off into the garden looking for his daughter*
Mr. Sanban: Kuki! Did you kick another prince in the crotch?!
Numbuh 3: I didn’t want him near me! He was over-dressed and self absorbed… I told him to not come near and he didn’t listen, so had to do it…
Mr. Sanban: Please, you've got to stop kicking every suitor that comes to call. The law says you...
Both: ...must be married to a prince.
Numbuh 3: But dad… The law is wrong. If I do marry, I want to be for… LOVE!
Mr. Sanban: That line is so saccharine it could make a cat puke…
Numbuh 3: Try to understand. I've never done a thing on my own. I've never had any real friends. *Robo-Bradley appears and makes a growling noise.* Except for Robo-Bradley. *Satisfied, he goes back to… whatever he was doing* I've never even been outside the palace walls.
Mr. Sanban: But, dear, you are a princess…
Numbuh 3: Then I don’t wanna be a princess! *Pushes his dad to the fountain and storms off*
Mr. Sanban: What about if I buy you a pony?

End of chapter 2

[wallysgirl]

YAY!! *glomps shadoboy* I was in it! Thankies!! ;D



Me: "Still I think he's rather tasty!!" *giggles* (Really, he's so cute I could eat him up. ^-^)

Great job!!

Favorite parts:

1: Where I jump out & grab Wallykins! ^^

2. Wally's view into the future of how one day he'll have a genie and money & chefs & butlers, and create a show of children whobattle against adult tyranny...etc. ;D

3. The Kid kicks Mr. Sanban in the "forbidden zone"! (*snickers* XP Didn't see that coming)
~~~~

Great job shadoboy! Your le king of comedy!

[Numbuh 18]

Great story, Wally's Girl!!! ;D

[shadoboy]

Chapter Three

Presenting...
Mr. Boss as the merchant

*Next scene starts when Father and Numbuh 1 enter their evil lair o’ doom*
Numbuh 1: I loved to see the sultan in the fountain! Always forcing moldy old biscuits down my throat… Why not something I actually like? Like… chocolate! Oh, how I hate that old moron…
Father: Hush, Iago.
Numbuh 1: What did you call me?!
Father: … Numbuh 1.
Numbuh 1: Ah, okay.
Father: Anyway, with the sultan’s ring, we can find out who this ‘diamond in the rough’ is! And then I’LL be sultan! Muahahahaha! *places a shiny blue ring in a strange and creepy contraption* Start running, slave!
Numbuh 1: You can’t boss me around! I’m Numbuh 1! Nigel Uno!
Father: Not in this spoof, you’re not! Hop to it!
*Numbuh 1 sighs; he puts on a sweatband, grabs a bottle of Gatorade and jumps into a little treadmill. He starts running, which provides the energy for the strange and creepy contraption. Father stands in front of it and throws voodoo twinkles in the air, before starting his spell*
Father: Presto Chango! Chibirin Bom Bom Bule Bule Traca Traca! Now show me… Show me the diamond in the rough!
*Father stares at an hourglass, where an image is forming in the bottom half. Suddenly, it shows Numbuh 4 blowing milk bubbles with his nose*
Father: … You’re kidding! This kid is the chosen one who can enter the Cavern of wonders?!
*a few words appear in the hourglass*
Mystical hourglass words: This is the one.
Father: But he’s… He’s… Are you serious?
Mystical hourglass words: I’m dead serious.
Father: And you’re not broken or anything?
Mystical hourglass neon-light words: No! He is the one!
Father: Show him to me again.
*The words fade out and show Numbuh 4 painting a mustache on a picture and chuckling*
Father: ‘Fo real?
Mystical hourglass words: ‘Fo real!
Father: … Well, alright then. Let’s have the Ice Cream men extend him an invitation to the palace, shall we? *evil laugh*

*Cut to garden at night, Numbuh 3 is wearing a large cloak. Robo-Bradley is with her, she goes near the wall*
Numbuh 3: I'm sorry, Robo-Bradley. But I can't stay here and have my life lived for me. I'll miss you.
Robo-Bradley: I understand…
Numbuh 3: Oh, if only you could talk!
Robo-Bradley: I can talk…
*Numbuh 3 goes towards the wall*
Numbuh 3: Uh-oh. Someone cut down the tree that I was gonna climb. Oh, well, plan B.
*She equips a parachute. Robo Bradley grabs her with his robotic claw and launches her over the wall*
Numbuh 3: GOOOOOOD-BYYYEEEEEE…!
*She lands face-first in the ground on the other side*
Numbuh 3: I’m okay…
*Her parachute activates*

*The scene changes to the next morning. Numbuh 4, sitting on top of a market stand, and for some reason not sinking through the blanket/roof. He is trying to persuade Spankulot to steal a watermelon*
Numbuh 4: Look, it’s only twice your size! Surely you can manage to lift it!
Spankulot: *makes indignant monkey sound and crosses his arms*
Numbuh 4: Ah, crud. *looks away and sees a girl, wearing a large cloak, walking down the street* Ooh! Numbuh 4 sees a cute girl! *Hearts over his head*
*The girl, which anyone can recognize as Numbuh 3 sees a little boy trying to steal an apple. She takes one and hands it to him*
Numbuh 3: Here you go.
Little boy: Thanks, sucker! Hahahah! *boy runs off with the apple. The girl stares after him*
Numbuh 3: Another day, another good deed.
Mr. Boss: Hey, you’d better be able to pay for that!
Numbuh 3: … Pay? But I don’t have any money with me.
Mr. Boss: Stealing an apple eh? What’s next? Robbing a bank? Would you like my wallet, to go with that? Huh?! *Mr. Boss shoves his wallet in her face*
Numbuh 3: I-I uh…
Mr. Boss: I’ll have you know that nobody steals from my cart! Off with your head- I mean hand! *Mr. Boss grabs Numbuh 3’s hand and pulls it out of her oversized sleeve*
Numbuh 3: Eeeek! If you’d just let me go to the Sultan, I can-
Mr. Boss: Silence, thief! *raises an overlarge knife*
Numbuh 3: Nooo! Please! I need my hand!
*Suddenly, Mr. Boss’s knife is grabbed by Numbuh 4, who quickly steps in front of her*
Numbuh 4: Thank you, kind sir! I’m so glad you found her! *turns to the girl* Where have you been? Running off like that! I was worried sick!
Numbuh 3: *whisper* What are you doing?
Numbuh 4: *whisper* Just play along! I’m trying to save your butt!
Mr. Boss: You… know this girl?
Numbuh 4: Crud, I do. She is my poor and deranged little sister. She’s a bit loco, you know.
Numbuh 3: *Humming absentmindedly*
Numbuh 4: *whisper* Good going!
Numbuh 3: *whisper* About what?
Mr. Boss: She… says she knows the sultan. Think she can introduce me to him? I promised my son I’d get him his autograph one day.
Numbuh 4: Ahahahah! Tough luck. She thinks my monkey is the sultan!
Numbuh 3: Uh? Okay! Ooooh wise sultan! *bows down in front of Spankulot* How may I serve you? Shall I shine your shoes for a nickel?
Spankulot: *pompous monkey talk*
Numbuh 4: Tragic, isn’t it? *Numbuh 4 uses his foot to grab another apple. He quickly hands it to Mr. Boss* Here’s your apple. Well, time to see the doctor! Bye bye now! *grabs the girl and walks off*
Numbuh 3: Oooh, hello doctor! *stops in front of a camel*
Numbuh 4: *whisper* What are you doing?
Numbuh 3: *whisper* Improvising!
Numbuh 4: … No! Not that doctor! *shoves the girl forward* Let’s go, monkey.
Spankulot: *bows forward, causing lots of jewelry and other stolen stuff to fall from his vest*
Mr. Boss: What the-
Woman: Hey, that’s my necklace!
Man: Hey, that’s my nail clipper!
Numbuh 4: Oh Crud, RUN! *runs off with Numbuh 3, Spankulot quickly follows*

*Soon, the three reach Numbuh 4’s house*
Numbuh 3: So… This is where you live, huh?
Numbuh 4: It’s nice, ain’t it?
Numbuh 3: It’s… a moldy shack.
Numbuh 4: Well… yeah, but it’s got a pretty view. See? *pulls back the curtains, to reveal the view of the palace* Still not impressed?
Numbuh 3: …Wow… wonderful… *sits down* I wanted to thank you for stopping that evil man.
Numbuh 4: Meh. It’s what heroes do. *dramatic pose. Crickets chirp* Errr… So, is this your first time in Ugrabah?
Numbuh 3: … Yes. Is it that easy to tell?
Numbuh 4: You’ve got this sort of… tourist vibe around you. Plus, I’ve never seen you around.
Numbuh 3: Ah.
*Numbuh 4 takes one of the apples Spankulot stole, and starts eating it in a messy way*
Numbuh 4: *Mouth full of apple* Want some?
Numbuh 3: Uh… no thanks…
Numbuh 4: So… *swallows* where are you from?
Numbuh 3: It doesn’t matter. I ran away, and I’m not going back.
Numbuh 4: Really? Hey, wouldn’t it be funny if you were really the princess, and you ran away from the palace? Hahahah!
Numbuh 3: … Yeah… Funny… *shifty look*
Numbuh 4: So why did you run away?
Numbuh 3: My dad is trying to make me marry against my will. I’m thinking… That’s not gonna happen.
*Spankulot tries to steal Numbuh 4’s apple*
Numbuh 4: Spankulot! Cruddy monkey…
*Spankulot hops back and starts cursing in fluent monkey language*
Numbuh 3: … What?
Numbuh 4: Spankulot says that… Err… That’s not fair.
Numbuh 3: Oh… And what else is he saying?
Numbuh 4: Well… He thinks marrying is for chumps.
Spankulot: Eh?
Numbuh 4: Well… except if you find the right person… then it is right. And he wishes he could help you…
Spankulot: Guh!
Numbuh 3: That’s nice of him…
Numbuh 4: Well… yeah…
*Numbuh 4 and Numbuh 3 have been getting closer and closer, until Numbuh 4 leans in to kiss her. He is interrupted, however, when the four Ice Cream men from chapter two burst in*
Ice Cream man #1: Found you!
Ice Cream man #4: Is it my turn to hide now?
Ice Cream man #2: Moron.
Numbuh 4 and Numbuh 3: They’ve found me! *both gasp and look at each other* They’re after you?
Numbuh 4: Crud! You led them straight to my house!
Numbuh 3: My father must’ve sent them to… What?
*Numbuh 4 hops over to the window sill*
Numbuh 4: Do you trust me?
Numbuh 3: Eh?
Numbuh 4: Do you trust me?
Numbuh 3: Not really…
Numbuh 4: Cool. *grabs the girl and shoves her out the window, before jumping after her*
*The two land in a heap of salt and another of Numbuh 3’s parachutes activates. As they try to get away, they find their way blocked by the Ice Cream men, who have mysteriously appeared downstairs*
Ice Cream man #1: We just keep running into each other, don’t we? Street rat!
Numbuh 4: Sadly, we do. If only it were under better circumstances. Like… over a nice cup of tea.
Ice Cream man #1: We can only dream of a universe like that…
Ice Cream man #2: Anyway, it’s the dungeon for you!
*The Ice Cream men grab Numbuh 4*
Numbuh 4: Hey, lemme go! Lemme go! Oh Crud!
Numbuh 3: Let him go.
Ice Cream man #3: Look what we have here men! A street mouse! Ahahahah!
Ice Cream man #2: Was that supposed to be a joke?
Ice Cream man #1: I didn’t find it funny at all.
Ice Cream man #3: I just wanted to fit in… *pout*
Numbuh 3: Unhand him! By the power of the princess! *lowers her hood, to reveal her black long hair*
Ice Cream men: Princess Kuki Sanban! *bow down*
Numbuh 4: Princess…?
Ice Cream man #1: Why are you outside the palace? And with this street rat?
Numbuh 3: Mind your business! Now do as I say, and release him!
Ice Cream man #1: Well, we would, princess. But we have direct orders from Father. You’ll have to take it up with him.
Numbuh 3: What?! Doesn’t my authority override Father’s?
Ice Cream man #2: I dunno. Apparently not.
*The Ice Cream men turn and drag Numbuh 4 off*
Numbuh 4: Don’t cry for me, Argentina! I’m going off to a better place!
Ice Cream man #4: … Yeah. The nuthouse…
Numbuh 4: Oh, crud!
Numbuh 3: Is that all you can say?

End of chapter 3

[Renee]

Aw, I love that chapter! it was funny and sweet at the same time, just like I expected it to be! Way to go Shadoboy! (hugs you)

[Numbuh 434]

It's awesome!!!!Great job shadoboy!!!!

[shadoboy]

Thanks for your comments, people. I 'm glad to be back on posting this fanfics.

Chapter four

Featuring…
Um… The carpet as himself…

*We see the inside of the palace, and Father exiting his evil lair o’ doom, as the princess suddenly strides towards him. The image freezes, and Numbuh 2 runs in front of the screen*
Numbuh 2: Hold it! Hold it! This scene is cut!
Kukiwallyloverke : What? Why?
Numbuh 2: Shadoboy says this kind of dramatic scenes suck big time, and this particular one is a complete waste of time. Basically, Father tells the princess Numbuh 4 is dead. Father is lying, but Numbuh 3 falls for it and runs crying. Shadoboy did mention that if this scene were to be included he would have Numbuh 3 crying in her unique way everyone loves, but I digress, have fun with the next scene.
*Numbuh 2 runs off screen again. The image of Father and Numbuh 3 fades out*

*The screen fades in again to show Numbuh 4, chained to a wall inside the dungeons*
Numbuh 4: (Singing) Yatta yatta!
Daigaku goukaku
Yatta yatta!
Shachou shuunin
Happa ichimai areba ii
Ikiteiru kara lucky da!

Yatta yatta!
Tousen kakujitsu
Yatta yatta!
Nippon daihyou
Yannara gurai kenkou da
And everybody say "Yatta!"
*Suddenly, Spankulot hops in through the window*
Numbuh 4: Ah and here comes my trusty sidekick, ready to bail me out.
Spankulot: *frown*
Numbuh 4: Stupid monkey! I’m not kidding! Help me out!
Spankulot: *shrug*
*Spankulot takes a small hairclip out of his hair and uses it to unlock Numbuh 4’s shackles*
Numbuh 4: Ahhh… Freedom. Too bad that cruddy girl had to get me into trouble. What have we learned from this, Spankulot?
Spankulot: *monkey sounds*
Numbuh 4: That’s right. Women only cause trouble. *sigh* But she is so cute…
Spankulot: Meh?
Numbuh 4: Ah… I’m a fool…
*Suddenly, a creepy old geezer hops out of the shadows*
Creepy old geezer: You’re only a fool if you give up, boy!
Numbuh 4: What? Who the heck are you?
Creepy old geezer: A lowly prisoner, just like you. But together, perhaps we can be more.
Numbuh 4: … Are you hitting on me? Are you Michael Jackson with a surgery gone awry?
Creepy old geezer: Are you kidding? I can do much better than you!
*Numbuh 4 stares at the creepy old geezer*
Numbuh 4: Well, whatever.
Creepy old geezer: I know of a cave, boy. The Cavern of wonders. Filled with treasures beyond your wildest dreams! And desserts. Like… puddings! And pie!
Numbuh 4: Really? Pie?
*suddenly, the old geezer turns away as Numbuh 4 starts drooling, and Numbuh 1 pokes his head out of the geezer’s shirt*
Numbuh 1: Hurry it up, man! I’m dying in here!
Creepy old geezer: Hush, parrot!
Numbuh 1: Then next time, you can play the hunch! Geez, what was I thinking, taking this part?
Creepy old geezer: Shut up, darn it!
*Numbuh 4 pokes the creepy old geezer on the back*
Numbuh 4: Excuse me? Are you having a conversation with your hunch?
Creepy old geezer: N-no! Of course not! *quickly turns around again*
Numbuh 4: I just realized that a whole lot of pie is useless to me. I can’t eat too much pie. I might get fat, and then the fangirls wouldn’t want me anymore.
Creepy old geezer: You’ve heard of the golden rule, haven’t you boy? Whoever has the gold makes the rules! *the geezer grins, revealing incredibly hideous and disgusting teeth*
Numbuh 4: Jeez! If I had the gold, I’d pay for your dentist costs! Never heard of a toothbrush?
*the creepy old geezer clears his throat*
Numbuh 4: So why would you want to share those treasures with me? Suspicious!
Creepy old geezer: No it’s not! … I mean… I need a young man with strong legs and a strong back to go in after it.
Numbuh 4: … Okay. One problem though. I’m assuming the cavern is out there. And we’re stuck in here.
Creepy old geezer: Things aren’t always what they seem…
*Creepy old geezer taps the wall with his cane, revealing a secret exit*
Creepy old geezer: So, do we have a deal?
Numbuh 4: Okay-dokey!
Creepy old geezer: If you’d just sign this contract here with your blood, we’re ready to go. *holds out a piece of paper. Numbuh 4 takes it and reads*
Numbuh 4: What do you mean with ‘the creepy old geezer will not be held responsible for betrayal, maiming or possible death of the stupid little boy who signs this.’?
Creepy old geezer: … Standard procedure.
Numbuh 4: Oh, okay! *smiles stupidly, pricks his finger, and uses his blood to sign the contract* Here you go.
*The creepy old geezer snatches the contract from Numbuh 4’s hands and starts laughing maniacally. Numbuh 4 blinks confusedly for a second, and decides to laugh along*

*A few hours later, the stu- I mean Numbuh 4 and the creepy old geezer arrive at the Cavern of wonders*
Giant tiger head: Who dares disturb my slumber? I was just having a good dream! I was starring in the Lion king.
Numbuh 4: Err… It is I! Numbuh 4! I have come to plunder your treasure!
Giant tiger head: Oooh, okay! Go right ahead. But just so you know, you can touch nothing but the lamp! *opens its mouth*
Creepy old geezer: Remember boy, after you bring me the lamp, you can have all the treasure you want!
Numbuh 4: But… The giant tiger…
Giant tiger head: Lion.
Numbuh 4: Okay, the giant lion head just said-
Creepy old geezer: The giant tiger lies! Here, look at this! *takes out a medallion* See how shiny it is?
Numbuh 4: I see it… *His eyes grow wide*
Creepy old geezer: Now go get the lamp! Go on! Shoo!
*Numbuh 4 runs off, and enters the giant tiger’s head*
Numbuh 4: Ooooh… I never thought I’d see the inside of a tiger.
*Numbuh 4 walks down the staircase, and enters a giant treasure chamber*
Numbuh 4: Hey! I see no pie! Have I been tricked?
*Spankulot swats him on the butt*
Numbuh 4: Ow! Oh, right. On we go.
*Numbuh 4 makes his way through the treasure room, Spankulot following him. Suddenly, a carpet stirs and rises from the floor. It floats after them*
Spankulot: … Eh? *Spankulot looks behind him, but the carpet is pretending to be a carpet again. Spankulot shrugs and keeps walking. The carpet gets up again and flies after him*
Spankulot: (‘The heck?) *Spankulot looks behind him again, but the carpet is suddenly wearing a fake moustache. Spankulot stares at it*
Numbuh 4: Hurry up, stupid monkey!
Spankulot: *agreement in monkey language*
*Spankulot runs after Numbuh 4, and the carpet gets rid of the moustache again. It flies forward and steals Spankulot’s fez*
Spankulot: Gah! *looks behind him and sees the carpet, wearing his fez* Aaaaaargh! *Spankulot speeds off and jumps onto Numbuh 4’s back, before crawling up and clinging to his face*
Numbuh 4: Argh! Spankulot! Get off! You haven’t had your rabies shot yet!
Spankulot: squeak squeak! *turns Numbuh 4’s head so that Numbuh 4 sees the carpet too*
Numbuh 4: Whoa! What have I been sniffing?
*The carpet shyly hides behind a pile of treasure*
Numbuh 4: It’s a magic carpet! C’mon! *beckons the carpet over* Come here boy! We won’t hurt you!
Carpet: … *flies towards Numbuh 4, and hands over the fez*
Spankulot: *takes the fez and curses in monkey language*
Carpet: *walks off sadly*
Numbuh 4: Hey, wait a minute! Don’t go! You rock! Maybe you can help us. We’re looking for a magic lamp. And perhaps some pie.
*The carpet strikes a dramatic pose and flies off. Numbuh 4 and Spankulot follow*

*They pass through a long cave, until they emerge in a giant underground cavern. In the centre of the room is a tall pillar, with a staircase going up to it. At the top of the pillar is the magic lamp. It is surrounded by water with unevenly placed stones forming a bridge*
Numbuh 4: Wait here!
Spankulot: *salutes*
*Numbuh 4 crosses the bridge, and starts walking up the staircase. Meanwhile, Spankulot turns and sees a huge ruby, being held by a monkey statue. His eyes grow incredibly huge, and he begins to approach it. The carpet grabs him by his tail to stop him*
Numbuh 4: Crud, this is a long staircase… *reaches the top* Ah, there we go. Let’s see… *stares at the magic lamp* Hmm… When he said it’d be magical, I thought it’d be a bit more… magical looking. Oh well. *grabs the lamp* Alrighty Spankulot, let’s go back and- *turns and sees Spankulot grab the ruby* No! You stupid monkey!!!
*Suddenly, the cave starts rumbling*
Giant tiger head’s voice: Infidels!
Spankulot: Uh-oh…
Giant tiger head’s voice: You have touched the forbidden treasure! Now you will never again see the light of day!
*Spankulot quickly puts the ruby back in the statue, but he’s too late. The ruby and the statue suddenly melt, as the water surrounding the pillar turns into lava, and rocks come crashing down from the ceiling*
Numbuh 4: Well, Spankulot… I hope you’re happy now!
*Numbuh 4 starts running down the staircase, but trips. Just as he falls towards the lava, he is caught by the carpet. They quickly fly over to Spankulot and snatch him, before he falls into the lava too*
Numbuh 4: Let’s get out of here!
*insert exciting flying scene with lots of special computer effects, where Numbuh 4 nearly gets killed by falling rocks several times. Suddenly, a boulder drops on top of the carpet. The carpet falls to the ground, and Numbuh 4 flies forward, managing to grab onto the staircase, just feet away from the exit*
Numbuh 4: Creepy old geezer! Help!
Creepy old geezer: First, hand me the lamp!
Numbuh 4: Are you kidding?
Creepy old geezer: Does it look like I am? Hand me the lamp, and I’ll consider saving you!
Numbuh 4: You old bastard! Just give me your hand, and pull me up!
Creepy old geezer: Hey, look at the fine print of the contract, brat! *holds out the contract and a magnifying glass so Numbuh 4 can read it*
Numbuh 4: … ‘The creepy old geezer is not forced to save the stupid little boy’s life. He might consider doing that after receiving the lamp.’ So who’s this stupid little boy?
Creepy old geezer: That would be you.
Numbuh 4: Crud… Okay. *throws the creepy old geezer the lamp*
Creepy old geezer: Ahahahah! At last! Ahahahahahahahah! I rule this world now! Muahahahha!!!
*Numbuh 4 finally manages to climb onto the staircase, but the old geezer grabs him*
Numbuh 4: Hey, what the heck are you doing, you psycho?!
Creepy old geezer: Giving you your reward. Your eternal reward!
Numbuh 4: Oooh, is it pie?
Creepy old geezer: … No. It’s death!
Numbuh 4: Aaah! The horror!
*Creepy old geezer holds up a dagger, and gets ready to stab Numbuh 4. Suddenly, Spankulot appears out of nowhere and bites his wrist*
Creepy old geezer: Aaargh! Rabies!
Numbuh 4: Whooh! Good job, Spankulot!
*The creepy old geezer gives Numbuh 4 a shove, causing Numbuh 4 to fall back and into the cave. Spankulot jumps after him. While falling, Numbuh 4 hits the wall several times*
Numbuh 4: Ow! Pain! Ow! I don’t like pain!
*Numbuh 4 is knocked unconscious, and still falling. Finally, the carpet manages to break free from the boulder that was pinning it to the ground. It flies up to catch Numbuh 4 and Spankulot. On the surface, the giant tiger head roars loudly, and sinks back into the sand*
Creepy old geezer: Heheheh… It’s mine! All mine! The precious! *reaches into his pocket. The lamp is not there* W-what? This can’t be! NOOOOOOOOOO!!! *Star wars rip-off*

End of chapter 5

For those who didn't read the fic the first time, I will post the link to the whole Yatta phenomenon!

www.verylowsodium.com/fanimutation/exuberance

[Numbuh 434]

I'm into it xD Nice work !!!!!

[shadoboy]

Chapter five
Featuring…
Lee as the Genie of the lamp.

*Inside the cave, we see Numbuh 4 lying unconscious on the floor. Spankulot tries to wake him*
Numbuh 4: Hmm… Yes, I’ll marry you, Japanese girl!
Spankulot: *makes annoyed sound and spanks Numbuh 4*
Numbuh 4: *wakes up* Ah! Ow, stupid monkey… *sits * Ooooh, my head. I feel like I fell a really long way, and hit my head on some rocks while doing so. *looks up, and sees the ceiling has caved in* Ah no, we’re trapped! That stupid two-faced son of a…! I can’t think of anything family-friendly… Well, whoever he was, I bet he’s long gone with the lamp now…
*Spankulot grins and takes the lamp out of his pocket*
Numbuh 4: Whoa! You sneaky little thief! I’d love to see the look on that geezer’s face now. Too bad the lamp is just a worthless piece of junk… *takes it and stares at it* Ooh look, it’s got a little smudge on it. Right here…
*Numbuh 4 rubs the lamp, in an attempt to clean it. It starts to glow and shake wildly. Numbuh 4 screams like a girl and throws it away, as fireworks suddenly start shooting out of it. Then, there is a long silence*
Numbuh 4: … *approaches the lamp and pokes it with a stick*
*Suddenly, smoke starts to come out of the lamp. It rises into the air, and materializes into a kid with an ear-flapped cap, dark blue shorts and a blue shirt with an orange stripe*
Genie: Aaaaaahhhh! *snapping sound* OY! four-thousand years… will give ya such a crick in the neck! *stretches out* Ah, hang on for a sec, will ya? *grabs Numbuh 4 and hangs him on the wall, before grabbing his head and turning it all the way around* Whoa, it’s so cool to be outta there! *a microphone appears in his hand* Yes ladies and gentlemen, it is nice to be back! Hi! What’s your name? Age? Hobbies? *shoves the microphone in Numbuh 4’s face*
Numbuh 4: …W-Wallabee! *falls down from the wall again, and lands on the floor* But my friends call me Numbuh 4.
Genie: Numbuh 4! *snaps his fingers, and neon letters appear, spelling Numbuh 4’s name* Hello Numbuh 4! Good to have you on the show! Can I call you Wally? Or Wallace? Or maybe Labee? O RLY? *turns himself into a large snow owl with a startled expression*
Numbuh 4: Whoa… I really did hit my head! *goes cross-eyed*
Genie, who is currently an owl: YA RLY! Do you smoke? Mind if I do? *poofs himself back to his normal self. If you can call it normal, that is*’cuz I won’t, smoking kills. Remember that, kids! *Thumbs-up sign*
Spankulot: *loud monkey shrieks*
Genie: Oops, sorry monkey boy! Did I singe the fur? *notices the carpet* Hey, rug man! Haven’t seen you in a few millennia! *poofs on some sunglasses* Hand me some tassel! Yo! Cool! *high-fives the carpet, street style*
Spankulot: … humph!
Genie: *floats back over to Numbuh 4* Say, you look a lot smaller than my previous masters. A real midget I might add.
Numbuh 4: I’M NOT A MIDGET! And you’re not too tall either! Uh? Wait a minute! I’m your… master?
Genie: You betcha! For I am the ever impressive *super wide grin*, long contained *inside a cube*, incredibly cute *smiles shyly and the audience lets out an “Aww!”*, attractively mysterious *wearing a long trench-coat*, Yo-yo master, Henshin a yo-yo baby! *makes awesome moves with his yo-yo*, often imitated *suddenly holding a ventriloquist doll*, but never duplicated *duplicates himself a few times*
Genie with black glasses: Duplicated!
Genie with aviator cap: Duplicated!
Genie with green sweater: Duplicated!
Genie with hoodie coat: Duplicated!
Genie with red cap: Duplicated!
Genie with no special features: What they said…
*the clones disappear in a poof*
Genie: Genie. Of. The. Lamp! But you can call me Lee-sama!
Numbuh 4: …
Lee: Or just Lee.
Numbuh 4: *nod*
Lee: Right here direct from the lamp, right here for your enjoyment wish fulfillment! Thank you!
*Carpet claps, as Lee takes a bow*
Numbuh 4: Did you say… Wish fulfillment?
Lee: Three wishes, to be exact! And you can forget about wishing for more! Not gonna happen, bub! *turns into a slot machine. The arm pulls down, and three Lees appear on the wheels* Uno, dos, tres! *changes into an accountant* No refunds, substitutions or exchanges. *opens his briefcase and buries Numbuh 4 in papers*
Numbuh 4: *pokes his head out of the papers* This is insane!
Lee: Master! I don’t think you quite realize what you’ve got here! *poofs Numbuh 4 into a cozy chair* Why don’t you sit back whilst I illuminate the possibilities?

-“Friend like me”-
Lee: Well, CN may have that genius boy.
*Lee poofs Dexter into the cavern. He looks around confusedly*
And Nick a dozen fairy tales!
*He poofs Cosmo and Wanda in*
But master, you can jump in joy
you got a brand of magic never fails!
*Lee poofs the characters away again*

You got some power in your corner now
*Lee poofs Numbuh 4 into a boxing ring*
some heavy ammunition in your camp.
*Lee hands Numbuh 4 a huge grenade launcher*
You got some punch, pizzazz, yahoo and how!
*the grenade launcher is fired, causing pretty lights to appear*
See all you gotta do is rub that lamp
*Lee shoves the lamp into Numbuh 4’s hands, and makes him rub it*
and I'll say!
Master Wallabee, sir!
What will your pleasure be?
*Lee snaps his fingers, and Numbuh 4 is suddenly sitting at a restaurant table. Lee has changed into a waiter*
Let me take your order
jot it down!
You ain't never had a friend like me!
No, no, no!
*Lee takes out a notepad*

Life is your restaurant
and I'm your maitre d'!
C'mon whisper, what it is you want?
*Lee leans closer to Numbuh 4*
You ain't never had a friend like me!
*Lee poofs away again, leaving Numbuh 4 incredibly confused*

Yes sir, we pride ourselves on service!
*Lee appears, giving Numbuh 4 a manicure, pedicure, haircut and whatnot*
You're the boss,
The king, the shah!
*the chair Numbuh 4 was sitting on changes into a throne*
Say what you wish
It's yours! True dish!
How about a little more Baklava?
*Lee throws Baklava at Numbuh 4*
Numbuh 4: Argh! My eye!

Have some of column "A"!
Try all of column "B"!
*Numbuh 4 jumps over to column B, but trips and falls. He is caught by Lee, holding a pillow*
I'm in the mood to help you dude!
You ain't never had a friend like me!

*A miniature Lee wearing a top hat over his cap appears out of nothing, and does a little dance with two yo-yos*
Nanana! Nah nah! Nanana! Nah nah! Nanana! Nah nah!
*the yo-yos grow and squish miniature Lee*

*Lee appears behind Numbuh 4. He pulls off his head, duplicates it, and juggles with the heads*
Can your friends do this?
Do your friends do that?
*He throws the heads to Numbuh 4, who tries to juggle them, but accidentally drops them. The music stops*
Lee: …
Numbuh 4: Err… Sorry! *grabs the heads and throws them back to Lee. The music starts again*
Lee: Do your friends pull this out their little hat?
*Lee turns into a white rabbit*
Can your friends go, poof?
*rabbit goes poof. Suddenly, three harem girls appear and dance around Numbuh 4*
Well, looky here!
Can your friends go, Abracadabra, let 'er rip
and then make the sucker disappear?
*The girls disappear again*

So don’t you sit there slack jawed, buggy eyed!
I'm here to answer all your midday prayers!
You got me bona fide, certified
you got a genie for your chare d'affaires!
I got a powerful urge to help you out!
So what-cha wish? I really wanna know.
*Lee pulls a list out of Numbuh 4’s ears*
You got a list that's three miles long, no doubt
Well, all you gotta do is rub like so - and oh
*Lee uses the list to rub his behind, like drying off after a shower*

Master Wallabee, sir, have a wish or two or three!
*Dancing harem girls reappear, and Numbuh 4 leans in to kiss one, but she turns into Lee*
Numbuh 4: ACK!
I'm on the job, you big nabob!
You ain't never had a friend, never had a friend
*Lee zaps the harem girls into existence again*
You ain't never had a friend, never had a friend
*Lee zaps four dancing camels into existence, and it starts raining gold*
You ain't never… *neon letters appear* had a… *more fancy stuff appears* friend…*reaching the grand finale now* like... *fireworks* me-!
*Lee zaps onto a stage and starts dancing in a very psychopathic way*
Hahahahah! Hahahah! HahaHAH! You ain't never had a friend like me!
*Lee strikes a pose as the song ends, and all the cool stuff disappears again*
[…]

*Lee points to a neon ‘applause’ sign. Everyone shrugs and applauses*
Lee: So what’ll it be, master?
Numbuh 4: Hmm… I like the sound of that…
Lee: …
Numbuh 4: So, you’ll grant me any three wishes?
Lee: Aw, isn’t that cute? But you’re WRONG! *whacks Numbuh 4 with an oversized yo-yo* There are a few provisos. A couple of quid pro quos.
Numbuh 4: Uh?
Lee: Rules I can’t break.
Numbuh 4: Oh. Like?
Lee: Rule number one! *holds a finger in Numbuh 4’s face* I can’t kill anyone. *he slices his head off with his finger, and catches it* Don’t ask me to.
Numbuh 4: Seems fair…
Lee: Rule number two! *holds two fingers in Numbuh 4’s face* I can’t make anyone fall in love with anyone else. *turns into Wallysgirl and kisses Numbuh 4 on the face* You little sweetie, you! *pulls Numbuh 4’s cheeks*
Numbuh 4: H-hey!
Lee: *Turns back into himself* Rule number three! *holds four fingers in Numbuh 4’s face* I can’t bring people back from the dead. *lies flat, before turning into a freaky-looking zombie* It’s nasty business. Caused a lot of trouble back in the seventies. *grabs Numbuh 4’s shoulders and shakes him* So I don’t like doing it!
Numbuh 4: That’s it?
Lee: Not quite. Rule number four! *holds a fist in Numbuh 4’s face* You cannot force me to do R-rated favors! *zaps himself into a black leather outfit and cracks a whip*
Numbuh 4: Eww…
Lee: This rule was instated in case anyone from the Caption contest tread gets his hands on the lamp. *shudders*
Numbuh 4: Oh, I see.
Lee: Other than that, you got it!
Numbuh 4: Hmm… But you can’t… revive people from the dead? *sighs* That’s… too bad. Some all-powerful genie you are.
Lee: H-hey!
Numbuh 4: *gets to his feet* Come on Spankulot… We’d better go and find a way out of here. *turns to leave, but his way is blocked by Lee, who is growing larger and larger in anger*
Lee: Excuse me? Are you lookin’ at me? Did you rub my lamp? Did you wake me up? Did you bring me here? And now, you have the nerve to walk out on me?! I don’t think so! You’re gettin’ your wishes, so sit down! *puts Numbuh 4 on top of the carpet, and turns into a (female) stewardess* In case of emergency, the exits are here, here, here, here, here, here, anywhere! *points in random directions* Keep your hands and arms inside the carpet at all times, please! Weeee’re outta here!
*the carpet shoots off, sending magical sparks everywhere*

End of chapter 5

[wallysgirl]

Loved the Song & Dance Numbuh!! XD Lee Rocks!! ;D He's so cool!!

& I got to kiss Wallykins on the cheek!! *squees happily* Oo...well, Lee did actually, but he poofed into me to do it! *giggles*

Great job!! Loved this chappie! Update soon!! ^-^

[Renee]

Man, this story gets funnier with exch chapter! I love it!

[shadoboy]

Chapter six.

Presenting…
Sonia as herself

*Shot of the palace, and Father bowing down before sultan Kani Sanban and princess Kuki Sanban*
Mr. Sanban: Father, this is an outrage! A scandal! A… bad thing! After all your years of loyal service, and sneaking me cupcakes from the kitchen! By the way, I want a blueberry cupcake today.
Father: It shall be done.
Mr. Sanban: From now on, you shall discuss sentencing of prisoners with me, before going as far as condemning them to death by Znoo-Znoo! (Yay! Futurama reference!)
Father: Meh. Sure. It won’t happen again.
Numbuh 3: Humph! *glares at Father. Father glares back*
Mr. Sanban: Now, now, let’s put this whole nasty business behind us, okay? I don’t want you guys fighting.
Father: *clears throat* My humblest apologies to you, princess. *turns back and washes his mouth with soap*
Numbuh 3: At least some good will come out of my being forced to get married. Because when I become queen, I’ll finally have the power to get rid of you!
Father: Queen? Wouldn’t you become like… Sultana or something?
Mr. Sanban: No, a Sultana is a biscuit! Her husband becomes the sultan, and she becomes the queen.
Numbuh 3: And then gets rid of you!
Mr. Sanban: And, about the suitor business… *Numbuh 3 runs off. The sultan bounces after her* Wait! Have you considered the pony I offered?
Father: If only I had that lamp right now… *growl*
Numbuh 1: *dressed as Numbuh 3* I’ll finally have the power to get rid of you! Tch! What is that girl thinking?
Father: That green jumper looks weird on you…
Numbuh 1: *takes off Numbuh 3 disguise* To think, we have to keep kissing up to that old moron, and his moronic daughter for the rest of our lives! I hate this! Get my agent on the phone!
Father: No, Numbuh 1. We’ll only have to kiss up to her until she finds a moronic husband. And then she’ll have us banished. Or beheaded. Or worse… Forced to play tea party with her.
Both: Eww… *shudder*
Numbuh 1: Actually, that’d be kinda fun…
*Numbuh 1 gets whacked*
Numbuh 1: I mean- Eww… *shudders*
Father: Good parrot. *pets*
Numbuh 1: Oh wait! Wait! Hold the phone! I just had an idea!
Father: Does it involve everyone saying “Yatta”? Because I swear, all your ideas seem to involve everyone saying “Yatta” these days.
Numbuh 1: What if you were the moronic husband?
Father: Are you calling me a moron?
Numbuh 1: Hear me out now. You marry the princess, and then you become sultan!
Father: Marry the shrew… And then I become sultan. Hmm… This idea looks promising.
Numbuh 1: And then we take papa-in-law, and the lovely wife, and throw them into a pit… And then everybody say YATTA!
Father: …
Numbuh 1: Err… We throw them off a cliff.
Father: Numbuh 1, I love the way your foul little parrot mind works!
Numbuh 1: Thank you, thank you! *takes a bow*
Father: Hah!
Numbuh 1: Hahah!
Father: HaHAH!
Numbuh 1: Hahah!
Father: Hahahah!
Numbuh 1: Ahahahah!
Father: Ahahahahah!
Numbuh 1: Muahahahahahahahah!
Both: Muahahahahahahaha!
*Mr. Sanban pokes his head through the door*
Mr. Sanban: What was that disturbing sound?
Father: Err… Just reading the comic page, sir! *holds up the newspaper*
Mr. Sanban: Oh, okay!
*Mr. Sanban leaves again*
Father and Numbuh 1: Phew.

*Scene changes to a deserted oasis, where the carpet lands. Lee (still as stewardess) hops off first*
Lee: Thank you for choosing Magic Carpet airlines, for all your traveling needs. Don’t stand up until the rug has come to a complete stop. Feel free to take a complimentary bag of peanuts. *peanuts appear in Numbuh 4’s hands, as the carpet stays floating a foot above the ground, and forms steps. Numbuh 4 uses them to get off*
Lee: Thank you. Goodbye. Goodbye. Thank you. Good bye. *poofs back to normal* How about that, Mr. Doubting Bob?
Numbuh 4: (Eating peanuts) Yes, Lee. I have to admit. You really would make a fine stewardess.
Lee: See? Um... yeah. And I got you out of the cave too.
Numbuh 4: Yup. You sure showed me. Now, about my three wishes…
Lee: Oh, sorry, I think my ear-flaps made me hear something wrong. Three? You are down to two, buddy! *holds two fingers in Numbuh 4’s face*
Numbuh 4: No, not quite. See, I never wished to get out of the cave. You just dragged me out.
Lee: *Becomes snow owl again* O RLY? *Turns back into Lee* Then how about I send you right back? *rolls up his sleeves*
Numbuh 4: You’d go through all that trouble, just to show me? Seems like wasted time and magic. *uses the good old puppy eyes technique*
Lee: … Not cool! Geez, don’t I feel sheepish? *changes into a sheep* Very well, you baaaaad boy! But no more freebies!
Numbuh 4: Heheheh. Alrighty. So… three wishes. Three whole wishes… What should I wish for? Money? Fame? Pie? Oh, decisions, decisions…
Lee: Take your time… *starts polishing his yo-yo*
*Three hours later*
Lee: *has polished the yo-yo so much, it breaks into two* Make up your mind!
Numbuh 4: Don’t push me! … Hey, what would you wish for?
Lee: Me? Nobody’s asked me before… *big teary eyes*
Numbuh 4: Well?
Lee: *Still teary-eyed silence*
Numbuh 4: Uh, Lee?
Lee: *More teary eyed silence*
Numbuh 4: Wake up, Lee!
Lee: *The same*
*Numbuh 4 nudges Spankulot, who proceeds to give Lee a mighty swat on the butt*
Lee: OW! YOU SICK LITTLE MONKEY!
Numbuh 4: What would you wish for, Lee?
Lee: Oh right! *grabs Numbuh 4 and pulls him closer* I’d wish for… Freedom! *shouts the last word in Numbuh 4’s ear*
Numbuh 4: Gah! *pushes Lee away* Why would you wish for something like that?
Lee: Duh. I want it.
Numbuh 4: You’re a prisoner?
Lee: Yup. It comes with the job. The whole genie gig. *grows huge and impressive, with echoing voice* Phenomenal cosmic powers! *suddenly shrinks and squeezes himself into the lamp* Itty bitty living space.
Numbuh 4: Oh, that’s terrible!
Lee: Nah, it’s not so bad. I get to decorate the place myself. And I have pretty cool Videogames too. *comes out of the lamp again* But oh, to be free… Not having to go *poof* “What do you need?” *poofs closer to Numbuh 4* “What do you need?” *poofs, grabs Numbuh 4 by the shoulders and shakes him* “What do you friggin’ need?!”
Numbuh 4: For you to let go of me.
Lee: To be my own master. Such a thing would be cooler than all the magic and all the treasures and all the yo-yos in all the world! *sighs and floats off* But what am I talking about, here? Let’s get real. It ain’t gonna happen. Lee, wake up and smell the hummus!
Numbuh 4: Why not?
Lee: The only way I get outta this is if my master wishes me out. You can guess how often that’s happened.
Numbuh 4: Four times?
Lee: Aw, isn't that cute? But you're WRONG! *whacks Numbuh 4 with an oversized yo-yo* If only I had a master merciful enough to waste his wish on me.
Numbuh 4: I’ll do it.
Lee: Hush boy, I’m thinking. *rests his head on his hand and thinks* Where would I find someone like that?
Numbuh 4: Oh! Oh! Pick me! *hops up and down*
Lee: I need a stupid little boy.
Numbuh 4: That’s me! That’s me!
Lee: What to do… What to do…
Numbuh 4: Hey! Do I need my monkey to spank you again? *grabs Lee and shakes him* I’ll set you free!
Lee: Huh? You’d do that?
Numbuh 4: Sure! Why not? After using my first two wishes, I’ll use the third to wish you out.
Lee: *turns into a doggy and wags his tail* Really?
Numbuh 4: I promise.
Lee: Cool! *jumps up and licks Numbuh 4’s face*
Numbuh 4: Eww… Dog slobber! … Or is it genie slobber?
*Lee poofs back to normal*
Lee: Let’s get to magic! *cracks his knuckles and rolls up his sleeves* Sooo… how about it? What is it that you want most?
Numbuh 4: Well, there's this girl--
Lee: Aw, isn't that cute? But you're WRONG! *Whacks Numbuh 4 with an oversized yo-yo again* I can't make anybody fall in love, remember?
Numbuh 4: Oh, but Lee. She's smart and fun and...
Lee: Pretty?
Numbuh 4: Beautiful. She's got these eyes that just... can’t be seen that much because she has squinty Japanese eyes… and this black hair, wow...and her smile. And the way she hums to herself…
Lee: *Sitting in a Parisian cafe with Spankulot and carpet* Nombre Quatre! C'est l'amour.
Numbuh 4: But she's the princess. To even have a chance, I'd have to be a--hey, can you make me a prince? And have butlers, and chefs, and a palace… And a tree house base… And lots of technology, and my own theme park!
Lee: Hmm… Looks like you want to be a rich and handsome prince!
Numbuh 4: Yeah, that about sums it up.
Lee: Let’s see… Fangirls say you’re cute, so I can’t do anything about that…
Numbuh 4: Cute?
Lee: But the prince thing, I can do. Now, is that an official wish? You have to say the magical words.
Numbuh 4: Lee, I wish for you to turn me into a prince!
Lee: All right! You got it! *turns into a fancy fashion designer* Now, let’s take a look-see. Though the hoodie is very stylish, it has to go. And those jeans… What are we trying to say? Child Agent? No, no, no. It simply will not do. Work with me here.
*Lee takes Numbuh 4’s measurements in about one second, and snaps his fingers. Numbuh 4 is suddenly wearing a snazzy prince outfit*
Numbuh 4: Sweet… *checks himself out in the mirror*
Lee: Yes, yes. I like it. Muy macho! But it’s still missing something. What does it say to me? It says mode of transportation. *turns to Spankulot and claps his hands* Ooh, monkey boy! Get over here, please!
Spankulot: Uh-oh… *tries to hide under the carpet*
*Lee sighs and zaps Spankulot, so that he is paralyzed*
Lee: There we go. *claps his hands, and suddenly Numbuh 4 is standing on a game show stage, with Lee as the host* And what better way to make your grand entrance through the streets of Ugrabah, than riding your own, brand new camel?
*Spankulot turns into a camel*
Lee: No, that’s not it. *snaps his fingers*
*Spankulot turns into a fancy white horse, with ribbons in his hair*
Lee: Still not it.
*Lee continues to snap his fingers, causing Spankulot to change into: a duck, a hamster, the O RLY owl, a Rainbow monkey, the KND S.K.E.E.-B.I.K.E, an ostrich, Spankulot the Spank-happy vampire and a turtle*
Lee: Think, Lee. Think… Oh, I’ve got it! *wrings his hands, and zaps Spankulot again*
*Spankulot turns into a large elephant*
Lee: Cool! And check out the trunk space!
*Spankulot sees his reflection in a puddle of water, and gets a heart attack*
Lee: Gasp! Don’t you die on me! *turns himself into a doctor and poofs Sonia as a nurse*
Doctor Lee: No! I’m not gonna lose this one! Sonia, give me the zapping machine! And the little machine that goes “BING”!
Sonia: Here you are!
Numbuh 4: Machine that goes “BING”?
Sonia: If you hear a “BING” your elephant is not dead! Monty Python reference!
*The nurse hands the doctor the zapping machine thingy, which is then used on Spankulot. The other machine goes BING!*
Sonia: We have a “BING”, doctor!
Doctor Lee: Really? I thought that was my pastrami sandwich… *opens an oven door and pulls out a sandwich*
Numbuh 4: Ehem?
*Lee the doctor disappears in a poof, to reveal Lee the genie*
Lee: Sorry, I got carried away. Say, Sonia, we should see each other more often.
Sonia: How about tomorrow night?
Lee: Cool. I’ll be seeing ya! *Poofs her away*
*Spankulot gives Numbuh 4 the evil eye*
Numbuh 4: Don’t worry Spankulot, you look fine. Um… But don’t give him his hands back until he promises not to spank us for this, Lee.
Lee: Don’t worry, I won’t. So, he’s got the outfit… He’s got the elephant… But we’re not through yet. Hold on to your turban, kid. I’m gonna make you a star!
*The oasis is filled with fireworks and pretty lights*

End of chapter 6